Those who break the law must be punished, but before that they need to be caught and that is where clever police surveillance comes in, and in Melbourne, advanced technology gained from space aliens is being used, with death rays that instantly disintegrate any law breaker. Soon it is hoped that a race of super-hero cops, like in the TV show, The Boys, will be constructed in genetically engineered labs, like in the Marvel Comic universe, and super villains intending to go out in public, will be detected days before they even make the decision, using precognition ESP.
“Having already brought in some of the strictest Covid-19 restrictions in the world, Aussie police are well on their way to turning Victoria into an Orwellian surveillance state. The Antipodes seem to have sent themselves into a complete meltdown over Covid-19. Both Australia and New Zealand’s governments have wantonly restricted civil liberties with some of the most stringent lockdown conditions on the planet. Each country seems to be trying to one up the other in the authoritarian stakes at every turn. First the Australian state of Victoria declared a “state of disaster” and instituted an astonishingly draconian lockdown that mandated, among other things, masks outdoors everywhere at all times and granted the police the power to enter homes without a warrant. Apparently not wanting to be out done by the Victorians across the Tasman Sea, Kiwi PM Jacinda Arderndecided that they couldn’t possibly hold an election while there were less than 80 active cases of Covid-19 in the country, and so delayed it for a month. Admirable commitment to democracy there. But plainly the police in Victoria got wind that the New Zealanders had upped the ante so decided that what they needed to do was start using drones to spy on civilians. Melbourne coppers will be putting eyes in the skyto make sure none of the inmates, sorry citizens, are out and about doing things that they shouldn’t. Apparently, police in the city have decided they need to resort to tactics usually employed by the US Army to track down jihadis in the mountains of Afghanistan to catch people simply leaving their homes. Among the crimes these drones will be dispatched to try and catch people committing are such heinous offenses as going to the beach, not wearing masks, visiting playgrounds or using skate parks. The drones can be flown up to a distance of 7km and have the ability to read vehicle number plates from a distance of 500 meters. Interestingly, this means that the drones will technically and legally be allowed to go further from home than Melburnians, who are under a strict night curfew and can only go up to 5km from their homes between the hours of 5am and 8pm, except for work and medical care. Otherwise they will be in breach of the curfew imposed by Victorian Premier Dan Andrews – newly nicknamed Kim Jong Dan – and can be fined nearly AU$5,000 (US$3,621). Repeat offenders face a fine of up to AU$20,000. The drones will also be used to make sure people aren’t crossing the border into neighboring states, as that is yet another freedom Dan has seen fit to deprive his people of. He’s also deployed 2,000 military personnel to help to enforce virus-control measures. As one exasperated Aussie put it on Twitter: “Are we in Melbourne or China?”