Do you have night sweats, soaking the sheets? Do you awake from nightmares, screaming? It could be PTSD, post-traumatic stress disorder, or maybe you are just living in the modern world, undergoing psycho-political attack. Anyway, here is some nice prose on this, where Brett Stevens reflects upon the statistic that older white men, like us, take their lives at a rate four times greater than the general population, and nobody cares:
http://www.amerika.org/politics/modern-society-inflicts-life-long-ptsd-on-its-children/
“People commit suicide when they feel bad and perceive themselves to be trapped in this condition, which is a sensation of futility. This feeling of being trapped becomes undeniable in old age, when in theory all of the requirements of a citizen have been discharged, and things are still not as expected. Consider your average citizen: growing up, he knows that he is fodder for twelve to twenty years of education, then will go out there to fight to have a career. Nothing that he does will be lasting, only plowed under by more novelty-seeking behavior by the herd. He has no chance to make a contribution, only an income.
