Woke Film is Broke Film By Michael Ferguson

     Marvel has announced that a trans character is coming very soon in a film … I can hardly wait. They have begun the woke, politically correct push with the Captain Marvel film, which did ok riding on Avengers: Endgame, but most other woke films have gone belly up, especially the no doubt final Terminator movie, Cats, and Charlie’s Angels, all with an over-the -top feminist ideology:
  https://www.breitbart.com/entertainment/2019/12/31/video-marvel-studios-president-says-trans-character-coming-very-soon-in-upcoming-film/
  https://www.breitbart.com/entertainment/2019/12/31/hollywoods-most-notable-flops-of-2019-schwarzenegger-charlies-angels-and-cats/
  https://affirmativeright.blogspot.com/2019/12/the-long-goodbye-review-of-star-wars.html
  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zC-vExHeBII

“Unpopular social justice messages are to blame for some of the biggest failures as Hollywood continues to force feed left-wing ideology to audiences, who are catching wise to the game and rejecting it wholesale. Franchise fatigue was another factor, as creatively bankrupt studios continue to pump out sequels and reboots to diminishing returns. Hollywood is in panic mode. The domestic box office is expected to drop 3.6 percent in 2019 compared to last year, the largest percentage drop in five years. Audiences are shunning the cinemas in favor of at-home entertainment options, which include Netflix and a growing array of competitors. Here are some the year’s most notable box-office flops, and how much each stands to lose.

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That Epstein Did Not Kill Himself becoming More Mainstream By Charles Taylor

     The US version of 60 Minutes, has really put a mountain lion amongst the black pigeons with a TV special on the alleged suicide of Jeff Epstein, notorious elite paedophile who had a pleasure island where the elite could go an rape underaged girls, while he filmed it all for blackmail purposes. In the program Dr Michael Baden said: “I have never seen three fractures like this in a suicide hanging.” Numerous pieces of evidence did not fit the suicide hypothesis:
  https://www.cbsnews.com/news/jeffrey-epstein-autopsy-a-closer-look-60-minutes-2020-01-05/
  https://www.zerohedge.com/political/fake-noose-60-minutes-shreds-epstein-suicide-theory

“Among the injuries found on Epstein during the autopsy are contusions on both wrists, an abrasion on his left forearm, and deep muscle hemorrhaging in his left shoulder muscle. Photos 60 Minutes reviewed also show an injury to the back of his neck, a cut on his lip, and an injection mark in his arm, though it is unknown whether the latter injuries happened during an attempt to resuscitate Epstein at the hospital. Dr. Baden said small burst capillaries, known as petechiae, found on Epstein's face, mouth, and eyes are often an indication of strangulation. But it was injuries to Epstein's neck that make Dr. Baden call into question the official ruling of suicide. Autopsy photos show fractures of the left and right thyroid cartilage, which sits at the front of the neck, and the left hyoid bone, a u-shaped bone that sits under the jaw and acts as an anchor for the tongue. "I have never seen three fractures like this in a suicidal hanging," Dr. Baden tells Alfonsi on the broadcast. He added: "Going over a thousand jail hangings, suicides in the New York City state prisons over the past 40–50 years, no one had three fractures."

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Endgame of Hate Speech By Michael Ferguson

     When race hate speech was introduced in various countries, some proponents said that they would like to see the death penalty for those falling foul of this law. Well, Nigeria is now leading the way here:
  https://www.dw.com/en/nigeria-bill-aims-at-punishing-hate-speech-with-death/a-51419750

“While hate speech on social media is a problem affecting the world, not many countries resort to such extreme measures as are in the offing in Nigeria. Ignoring strong criticism, the nation's highest lawmaking body, the Senate, is preparing a law which will make it possible to sentence to death by hanging anybody convicted of spreading hate speech. The Prohibition of Hate Speech Bill is being sponsored by Senator Aliyu Sabi Abdullahi, a lawmaker of the ruling All Progressives Congress party. The bill, which was initially thrown out following a barrage of attacks, resurfaced suddenly a fortnight ago, going through two readings in just two weeks. It is a very extensive piece of legislation, which covers a slew of possible wrongdoings, including the publication or presentation of material deemed to stir up ethnic hatred. It also takes aim at written or visual acts seen as threatening, abusive, insulting or offensive.

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Climate Wars: The UN Iron Fist and Climate Change Agenda By James Reed

     If it is linked to the UN, beware, because there will be some globalist agenda on the horizon, something bad, something, evil. Take climate change. Isn’t a matter of just knowing the science and seeing the truth, since all of those bloody scientists back it, don’t they? Don’t they? Well, why then is the idea being floated now of using the UN mercenary armies to kill anyone disagreeing? How democratic is that? What have they got to hide?
  https://www.breitbart.com/environment/2019/12/03/danish-academic-u-n-might-use-military-to-enforce-climate-agenda/

“The United Nations may resort to military action against states that defy its mandates on global climate action, according to Ole Wæver, a prominent international relations professor at the University of Copenhagen. In an interview with ABC News in Australia, Professor Wæver cautions that what he sees as “climate inaction” might draw the U.N. into considering other means to ensure its goals are met, even if that leads to global armed conflict. Professor Wæver says more resistance to change could potentially threaten democracy although the U.N. would counter that the end justified the means in much the same way countries like Greece had their debt crisis solutions forced on them by European Union bureaucrats in Brussels and Strasbourg. “The United Nations Security Council could, in principle, tomorrow decide that climate change is a threat to international peace and security,” he says. “And then it’s within their competencies to decide ‘and you are doing this, you are doing this, you are doing this, this is how we deal with it’.” He believes classifying climate change as a security issue could leave the door open to more extreme policy responses.”

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Toxic Leaks from Academia to Contaminate the World By Chris Knight

     I think of academia, following the lead of our own resident alcoholic, James Reed, as being like a toxic waste site, where the deadly poisons eventually leak intro the wider society, destroying all in their glowing green path.
  https://www.wsj.com/articles/idea-laundering-in-academia-11574634492?mod=rsswn

“The reason you’ve heard them is that politically engaged academicians have been developing concepts like these for more than 30 years, and all that time they’ve been percolating. Only recently have they begun to emerge in mainstream culture. These academicians accomplish this by passing off their ideas as knowledge; that is, as if these terms describe facts about the world and social reality. And while some of these ideas may contain bits of truth, they aren’t scientific. By and large, they’re the musings of ideologues. How did this happen? How have those working in what’s come to be called “grievance studies” managed to extend their ideas far beyond the academy, while convincing people that their jargon adds something meaningful to public discourse? Biologist Bret Weinstein, who was run out of Evergreen State College by a leftist mob in 2017, calls the process “idea laundering.” It’s analogous to money laundering. Here’s how it works: First, various academics have strong moral impulses about something. For example, they perceive negative attitudes about obesity in society, and they want to stop people from making the obese feel bad about their condition.

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Cracks in the Ivory Tower By James Reed

     Here is yet another book which I have not read, and will not, having no research money, but the local library might be able to get it on interlibrary loans: Jason Brennan and Phillip Magness, Cracks in the Ivory tower: The Moral Mess of Higher Education, (Oxford, 2019). This is not a critique from the close ‘em down James Reed school, but details the failings of the universities, from immoral fraudulent advertising, to turning a blind eye to student cheating, especially from various ethnic groups, to the marking nonsense. I managed to read a slice of it on Amazon, in its freebee taster section. OK, nothing we are not aware of, but it is one more bit of weaponry to cite in out eternal war against one of the greatest evils in the known universe: universities.
  https://www.amazon.com/Cracks-Ivory-Tower-Higher-Education-ebook/dp/B07NYT5P7C

At the 11th Hour, Pollies Critique China By James Reed

     It has taken some time, but now there is an emerging small degree of criticism of China, not in academia, or much of the media, but a start in parliament:
  https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7752737/Senator-Jacqui-Lambie-slams-Chinas-insidious-influence-infiltration-Australian-politics.html?ico=pushly-notifcation-small

“A line-up of powerful senators has condemned China's 'insidious' and growing influence on Australia, warning our democracy and way of life are being undermined. One by one they spoke out against the Communist superpower, from the bribing of Labor Party officials to the suspicious death of a Chinese intelligence informer, groomed as a possible Liberal candidate. The outspoken crossbench lawmakers savaged China's growing influence only hours after official figures showed Australia was even more reliant on our major trading partner to prop up the flagging economy. For the first time since 1973, Australia's exports were worth more than the imports for two consecutive quarters - a rare situation known as a current account surplus. Tasmanian senator Jacqui Lambie accused the Coalition government and the Labor opposition of ignoring the China threat - hours after the Australian Bureau of Statistics figures were released. She stressed her concerns were with the Chinese government and not Chinese immigrants, who first came to Australia during the 1850s gold rush. The major parties joined forces to defeat the call for a Senate inquiry into China.”

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More PC Incoherent Nonsense from The Twilight Zone By Brian Simpson

     Here is a recently published movie guide for white nationalists, put out by my least favourite site, American Renaissance. Reading the list, very few of the movies have much race realism in it, as defined by that site. Thus, American Psycho is on the list, but the great John Wayne movie the Searchers, regarded as a racial realist movie here, reviewed by our own John Steele:
  https://blog.alor.org/index.php/the-searchers-testosterone-and-racial-realismby-john-steele
  https://mjolnirmagazine.blogspot.com.au/2017/09/film-review-searchers-john-fords-look.html

     Doesn’t appear on the list at all. Nor do we see this years’ anti-immigration classic, Rambo: Last Blood. No doubt too much fire power there for the gentle Asian IQ worshipping folk.
  https://www.amren.com/commentary/2019/12/pro-white-conservative-movie-guide/

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More Wages of Diversity in Italy By Richard Miller

     Remember the old line that diversity is a strength? Does this mean that there cannot be any negative side to the diversity ideology? Presumably so. But that seems absurd, since every doctrine has counter-arguments against it, even such things as the nature of existence. Thus, the diversity ideology was only intended to be marketed in the early stages, before mass migration developed a mind and momentum of its own.
  https://www.breitbart.com/europe/2019/12/22/italy-nigerian-mafia-forcing-girls-as-young-as-twelve-into-prostitution/

“According to testimony from a teen girl who escaped sexual slavery at the hands of the Nigerian mafia in Italy, the organised crime syndicate has forced girls as young as twelve to become prostitutes. The testimony comes from a 15-year-old Nigerian girl who told prosecutors in the city of Bologna that she had been sold to the mafia by her father in Nigeria and smuggled illegally into Italy through the Mediterranean migrant route, Il Giornale reports. One in Italy, the young girl was put under the control of a so-called “Maman”, an older woman who has often been a former prostitute themselves. Intercepted phone conversations between a Maman and others revealed that the Nigerian mafia prefers to use illegal migration to bring in young girls rather than air travel due to the lack of oversight and regulations. The woman, who is said to be 26, also claimed that she knew of a 12-year-old girl who had been forced to prostitute herself. She later complained about the 15-year-old who ran away to Italian authorities, telling the young girl’s father, “I bought her a 300 Euro phone too, but nothing has changed. She doesn’t respond, she’s unruly.”

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California Leads the Way in the Collapse By Chris Knight

     We talk a lot about the coming social collapse here, but we are not the only ones, for much raw material can be found in mainstream sites, if one looks. Take California, the great liberal progressive experiment, for example:
  https://www.forbes.com/sites/michaelshellenberger/2019/09/12/why-california-keeps-making-homelessness-worse/amp/

“California is home to some of the world’s toughest environmental and public health laws, but skyrocketing homelessness has created an environmental and public health disaster. The 44,000 people living, eating, and defecating on the streets of L.A. have brought rats and medieval diseases including typhus. Garbage is everywhere. Experts fear the return of cholera and leprosy. And homelessness is making people violent. “We are seeing behaviors from our guests that I’ve never seen in 33 years,” said Bales. “They are so bizarre and different that I don’t even feel right describing the behaviors. It’s extreme violence of an extreme sexual nature. I have been doing this for 33 years and never seen anything like it.” Bales says he was one of the people who urged the US Government’s Federal Emergency Management Administration (FEMA) to intervene. “We’ve been crying out for a National Guard-like response,” said Bales, whose church provides food, showers, and shelter to 1,350 people camped nearby. In 2016 Bales lost the lower half of his leg to a flesh-eating bacteria from contamination on Skid Row. How did things get so bad in California? The state has long prided itself on being humanistic and innovative. It is home to some of the world’s largest public health philanthropies, best hospitals, and most progressive policies on mental health and drug addiction. The Democrats have a supermajority. What went wrong? According to Bales and other experts, California made homelessness worse by making perfect housing the enemy of good housing, by liberalizing drug laws, and by opposing mandatory treatment for mental illness and drug addiction.

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Capitalism Doing in Japan Now By James Reed

     We don’t hear much about this, but Japan, with its low birth rate, is also being subjected to immigration, not for replacement, as in the West, but on economic grounds, for the capitalists to keep the profits up. It is causing untold problems in this still relatively homogeneous population:
  https://japantoday.com/category/features/lifestyle/over-30-of-japanese-managers-feel-intense-stress-from-working-with-foreigners-survey

“In recent years, an increasing number of foreigners have been finding jobs in Japan, and not just in humanities and international services roles like teaching and translation. As more non-Japanese workers start joining the general-purpose Japanese workforce, though, some of their Japanese bosses are struggling with the changes to the business landscape, as shown in a recent survey by Japanese employment agency Persol Group. In a survey of Japanese managers with foreign subordinates, 34.3 percent of the 872 respondents reported that they feel intense stress because of the challenges the situation presents. Moreover, 17.2 percent of the managers of foreign workers said that if they could, they would like to quit their jobs immediately.

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Now War with Iran …Then World War III? By James Reed

     I have been following articles on the net about the likelihood of World War III following Trump’s order of the assassination of Iran’s Soleimani. The neo cons have been quite openly rejoicing about the coming global war, for they are usually evangelical Christians, hoping that this Armageddon will bring on the Second Coming.
  https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/world-war-iii-trending-twitter-iran-hawks-rejoice
  https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/red-flag-jihad-raised-1000s-mourn-death-suleimani-baghdad
  https://saraacarter.com/president-trump-to-iran-if-you-retaliate-we-will-hit-you-very-fast-and-very-hard/?utm_source=izooto&utm_medium=push_notifications&utm_campaign=iran&utm_content=&utm_term=

     The fear of a new draft, or what we call conscription, led to the Selective Service System website crashing, as anxious young people sought information. Hopefully World War III will be over quickly this time, and people left alive will be able to pick up the radioactive fragments of Western civilisation and see if anything can be put back together. Probably not.
  https://www.zerohedge.com/political/selective-service-website-crashes-amid-wwiii-draft-fears 
  https://www.zerohedge.com/geopolitical/no-more-threats-trump-warns-iran-52-targets-will-be-hit-very-fast-hard

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On Our Extinction Crisis By Peter West

     With all the nonsense talk about extinction from climate change it is good that former presidential candidate Pat Buchanan is focusing on the real extinction threat facing the West, which is coming up real fast now. The death of the West is happening right now, in real time:
  https://buchanan.org/blog/our-real-existential-crisis-extinction-137964

“For many First World countries, there are more compelling concerns. High among them is population decline, and, if birth rates do not rise, the near-extinction of many Western peoples by this century’s end. Consider. The number of births in Japan fell in 2019 to a level unseen since 1874, around 900,000. But there were 1.4 million deaths for a net loss of 512,000 Japanese. An even larger loss in Japan’s population is expected this year. Japan’s population has been shrinking since 2007, when deaths first exceeded births by 18,000. And with 28% of its population over 65, and fewer births every passing year, Japan is aging, shrinking and dying — with no respite in sight. Across Japan, writes The New York Times: “Whole villages are vanishing as young people choose not to have children or move to urban areas … The Government estimates that the population could shrink by about 16 million people — or nearly 13 percent — over the next 25 years.” South Korea has an even lower birth rate, and its population is expected to start diminishing this year. But it is Eastern Europe where the population crisis is most advanced.

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The Bushfires are Not an Argument for Climate Change By James Reed

     I wish that I had a dollar for every time I read or heard that the bushfires were a product of climate change. Why, I would buy enough alcohol to put myself well and truly out of this misery, perhaps permanently! Just joking. Seriously though, the bushfires are a product of lack of clearly of vegetation, and having crazy fire bugs lighting up the place.
  https://phys.org/news/2020-01-wildlife-ravaged-australia-decades-recover.html
  https://summit.news/2020/01/03/australian-police-say-arsonists-lightning-to-blame-for-bushfires-not-climate-change/

“Authorities in Australia are working on the premise that arsonists and lightning strikes are to blame for bushfires that have devastated numerous areas of the country, not “climate change” as many global warming alarmists have claimed. Since November, the fires have struck various regions of the state of New South Wales, destroying thousands of buildings and killing at least 22 people. Despite the fact that bushfires are not uncommon in Australia, the severity of the damage led numerous climate change alarmists to blame the disaster on man-made global warming. Earlier this week, Bernie Sanders blamed those who were “delaying action on climate change” for “the blood-red sky and unbreathable air in Australia because of raging forest fires.” However, according to those tasked with investigating the fires, climate change has nothing to do with it. “Police are now working on the premise arson is to blame for much of the devastation caused this bushfire season,” reports 7 News Sydney. Authorities in the country have formed Strike Force Indarra, comprising of detectives from homicide and arson units in an attempt to find the culprits. Other causes for the fires include lightning strikes and a natural weather phenomenon called Dipole, again neither of which have anything to do with man-made climate change. Many bushfires are also actually caused by environmentalist ‘green’ policies which prevent land owners from clearing their own vegetation to protect themselves. “Governments appeasing the green beast have ignored numerous state and federal bushfire inquiries over the past decade, almost all of which have recommended increasing the practice of “prescribed burning,” writes Miranda Devine. “Also known as “hazard reduction”, it is a methodical regime of burning off flammable ground cover in cooler months, in a controlled fashion, so it does not fuel the inevitable summer bushfires.”

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Transitioning Out of the Transition, in a Transitional Kind of Way By Mrs Vera West

     This is highly significant – a transgender trailblazer, one of the first has now gone back and reclaimed the male sex:
  https://www.theepochtimes.com/transgender-trailblazer-legally-reclaims-male-sex_3192279.html

“An Oregon court that granted the first individual legal recognition for his “non-binary” sex designation has rescinded the status and restored the sex on his birth certificate to “male.” In a dramatic repudiation of the transgenderism movement and the industry that supports it, the request for the change came from James Shupe, an icon of transgender activism, who denounced the movement and the idea that one can change one’s sex as a fraud. “I’m saying my experience should very much serve as a cautionary tale, to everyone, from males like me with sexual paraphilias and false beliefs about being women, to the lawyers, doctors, judges, therapists, and lawmakers that allowed this whole sordid tale to happen,” Shupe told The Epoch Times via email. Paraphilias, according to WebMD, are “abnormal sexual behaviors or impulses characterized by intense sexual fantasies and urges that keep coming back.” News of Shupe’s restored male sex status broke in a Dec. 31 interview with Tyler O’Neil of PJMedia. “The charade of not being male, the legal fiction, it’s over,” Shupe said.”

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Letter to The Editor - We must not confuse worthwhile creativity and courageous independence with selfishness

To The Australian        Commenting on monarchy (11-12/1), Michael Schilling expresses a dislike of its "degree of social elitism and inequality by birth that should not be part of an ideal world." However, the truth is that human societies always need to enshrine their leaders in a blaze of glory that inevitably contradicts the foolish advocacy of political equality. People need elites to brighten their lives and stimulate their dreams. Think the wealthy, think celebrities of all kinds, think heroes and heroines. Schilling's invocation of "contemporary reality" and "individualism" is also questionable. Some realities do not change with time and the glory of monarchy is one of them. There is no comparable glory of republics. As for individualism, this is sometimes good but sometimes not. We must not confuse worthwhile creativity and courageous independence with selfishness.
  Nigel Jackson, Belgrave, Vic

Letter to The Editor - It is a fair bet that if the republicans triumph here

To The Age        John Pinniger is wrong (11/1) to describe our monarchy as "a failing organisation that is becoming less relevant by the day". Perhaps the truth is the other way around: that there is a danger of the Australian people failing the Crown. Our constitutional monarchy brings a special grace into our lives that no republic can ever do. It calls on us to bow to the sacred and to live lives for the benefit of the common good rather than for selfish pleasure. It helps maintain a national memory of our history, its grandeur and the examples of our heroes. It offers a focus of national unity beyond party politics. It is a fair bet that if the republicans triumph here, it will not be long before a sizable majority of Australians yearn for a return of the monarchy; but by then the stable door will have been long opened and the horse bolted, alas!
  Nigel Jackson, Belgrave

China Drinks Big on Queensland Water By Paul Walker

     The resource war, especially the battle for water is now on, and China is making sure that it does not get thirsty. As for the local Aussies on water rations, well the governments will be doing all they can to do precisely nothing, and allow China first, second and third drink, as is the law of the New World Order:
  https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2020/jan/02/queensland-government-was-warned-about-risks-of-chinese-companys-water-extraction

“Queensland government experts raised repeated warnings about the long-term sustainability of groundwater extraction at a southern Queensland property which has since been approved to operate as a commercial water mine. The approval for the 96m litre a year bottled water extraction operation at Cherrabah – in a severely drought-hit area where locals are on water rations and communities at imminent risk of running dry – has raised significant questions about the oversight and regulation of critical water resources in Queensland. Documents obtained by Guardian Australia show how longstanding concerns about groundwater security at Cherrabah were overridden by changes to Queensland law enacted by Campbell Newman’s government in 2013. Under the changes, the Chinese-owned company Joyful View Garden Real Estate Development Resort Pty Ltd was automatically granted a 94-year extraction permit at Cherrabah when a short-term allocation expired in 2017. Written concerns outlined in the documents obtained by Guardian Australia include the expert review of a study commissioned by Joyful View in 2009 that was the basis for its subsequent water extraction applications. The study contained repeated qualifications that its modelling could not be relied upon for a period longer than 12 months.

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London: Exciting, Vibrating, Knifey By Richard Miller

     The multicultural elite are jumping for joy at news that England’s Muslim population has now topped 3 million, which exceeds the total population of Wales or Northern Ireland in the 2011 census:
  https://www.breitbart.com/europe/2020/01/04/englands-muslim-population-3-million-tops-populations-wales-ni/

“Office for National Statistics (ONS) research based on the Annual Population Survey (APS), a new a data collection method based on a “continuous household survey, comprising the Labour Force Survey (LFS) supplemented by sample boosts in England, Wales and Scotland to ensure small areas are sufficiently sampled”, indicates that the Muslim population of England and Wales increased by over 400,000 — 16 per cent — between the 2011 census and 2016. The Muslim population in England alone is thought have reached around 3,092,000 by 2016, greater than the total populations, including Muslims and all other minority groups, recorded for Wales (3,063,456) or Northern Ireland (1,810,863) in the 2011 census, according to coverage of the research in the Daily Mail. If accurate, the APS data — which naturally does not account for people resident in Britain illegally, or for people who live in “communal establishments” such as prisons rather than households — would put the Muslim share of England’s population in 2016 at 5.6 per cent. However, the impact on the country’s culture, demographics, and social cohesion is likely to be much greater than this figure would suggest, given the Muslim population has “tended to be concentrated in particular areas of England”, according to the last national census. “In over half of local authorities the proportion of the population who were Muslim was under one per cent,” the 2011 census reported noted — but added that in areas with “the highest proportion of Muslims” — namely Tower Hamlets and Newham in London, now governed by Muslim left-winger Sadiq Khan — their share of the population was far higher, at “34.5 per cent and 32.0 per cent respectively.”

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Is Australia God’s Laboratory? By James Reed

     I have written before that new world countries like Australia and America are social experiments in liberalism, to see if the fundamental natural laws that have governed human societies since the beginning of their existence can be over-ridden in favour of money economies, and the rule of commerce. That being so, this idea of a grand experiment has been taken even further by the car man, Jeremy Clarkson, who likes to say crazy things, but things which still have a serious sting to them:
  https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/10668071/australia-is-gods-laboratory-and-people-were-not-actually-meant-to-live-there/

“I’VE suspected for some time God didn’t want people to live in Australia. He created it as a continent far, far away where he could house all his experiments that had gone wrong. It was his under-the-stairs cupboard for stuff he wanted to forget about. Like, for instance, the saltwater crocodile. He designed it, built it then realised it was far too savage and bitey to live in, say, Milton Keynes. Or the poisonous redback spider which likes to hide under lavatory seats so it can bite a man’s penis when he sits down to do his number twos. No way could God have that living in Europe or the US. He also made a lot of snakes. Some are very pretty and some are very impressive. But occasionally it all went wrong and he ended up with something that could kill a fully-grown man with one small bite. And again, these could not live in populated areas. He needed a home for all these things, so he made Australia. And to make sure people didn’t go there, he put a huge coral reef on the approaches and filled the interior with a sea of sand that goes on for ever. He even used this remote outpost to house some of his more ridiculous ideas. Stuff he came up with when he was drunk. Like those birds that can’t fly and that otter with a beak. Then you have the kangaroo, which gets about by bouncing, and the koala, which is permanently stoned and catches chlamydia if anyone ever picks it up. For millions of years, this big, sandy cupboard under the stairs went unnoticed. But then along came Captain Cook and now the world knows all about Oz and its stupid, dangerous creatures. Plainly, God is embarrassed. Because he’s decided to set fire to it. It’s been argued the fires raging across the country were caused by global warming or out-of-control barbies. But when you look at the footage, you know something biblical is going on. Those things are huge.”

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