Woke EU Attacks Coffee (At Least Caffeine First)! By Richard Miller (London)

In a groundbreaking revelation that has left espresso enthusiasts reeling, the European Union has declared caffeine "harmful to humans if swallowed," prompting a ban on its use as a pesticide.

One can only imagine the Herculean efforts of Brussels bureaucrats, tirelessly safeguarding the populace from the perils lurking in their morning brews.

This bold move raises pressing questions: Will the EU now mandate warning labels on coffee cups, cautioning consumers about the dangers of ingesting their favorite stimulant? Perhaps a "Caution: Contents may be hazardous to your health," emblazoned across every café counter will suffice.

The report claims caffeine could cause adverse effects on the heart, hydration, and body temperature, as well as triggering anxiety and sleep problems.

Clearly, the next logical step is to shield citizens from these risks by considering restrictions on coffee consumption itself. After all, what better way to promote public well-being than by depriving millions of their cherished daily ritual?

As the EU continues its valiant crusade against the hazards of modern life, one can't help but wonder: What other menaces will they unearth next? Perhaps the sinister effects of herbal tea or the lurking dangers of chamomile? In the meantime, Europeans may have to brace themselves for a future where their morning pick-me-up is but a distant memory, sacrificed on the altar of regulatory overreach.

https://dailysceptic.org/2025/02/22/coffee-ban-fears-as-eu-calls-caffeinated-drink-harmful/

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/world-news/2025/02/21/coffee-is-dangerous-for-you-warns-eu/

"Brussels bureaucrats said there was scientific evidence to back up claims that "caffeine is harmful to humans if swallowed".

Their report said the substance, a central component of coffee, could cause adverse effects on the heart, hydration and body temperature, as well as triggering anxiety and sleep problems.

There was not sufficient research to judge whether caffeine is a risk for people who work with it or live near where it is processed, it added.

The report was produced to reinforce a decision to ban caffeine from being used to kill snails and slugs around cabbage and potato patches.

But it has prompted fears that Brussels regulations could one day target coffee, a staple of the European way of life.

Anders Vistisen, a Danish MEP and chief whip of Patriots for Europe said: "More unwelcome and needless inference from meddling bureaucrats in Brussels!

"What is this all leading to? Are they seriously going to eventually force us to drink decaffeinated coffee? It's becoming ridiculous.

"Nobody thinks smoking and whiskey are good for you, but they add pleasure to many people's lives," he added.