Will the Victorian Government Completely Ban an Agricultural Tool Used by Humans for Thousands of Years, because of Wokeness? By John Steele and Bob Farmer, Dairy Farmer (and Scrub Clearer!)
Victoria's facing a violent crime surge, especially among youths (10-17), with offenses at a 15-year high. Police seized a record 14,797 knives, machetes, and similar weapons in 2023—40 a day—highlighting a "spiralling crime crisis" tied to teen gangs and machete use.
The Allan government is set to discuss a statewide machete ban at next week's Cabinet meeting, including an amnesty for current owners before prohibiting sales and possession. This follows internal pressure on Premier Jacinta Allan to act, after she delayed an earlier discussion, irking colleagues like Police Minister Anthony Carbines.
Minister Natalie Hutchins backs "any bans," admitting last year's laws (making machetes controlled weapons, illegal to sell to minors or carry without reason) aren't cutting it. Allan's ordered a broader review of bail and weapons laws, conceding the government's failing on safety. The Labor caucus is split—some resist a full ban, but momentum's growing.
Former Chief Commissioner Shane Patton lobbied for a ban in 2023, calling knife crime a "significant issue" and arguing there's "no reason" for machetes in public. The opposition's amendment to classify machetes as prohibited weapons failed, with David Southwick slamming Allan for inaction.
Labor MP Nathan Lambert claims machetes have no place in Victoria, even on farms, asserting modern agriculture doesn't need them—a stance sparking the critique below.
Nathan Lambert's claim that farms don't need machetes is a jaw-dropping, laughable disgrace—a masterstroke of urban cluelessness from a Labor MP who's clearly never stepped foot on a hilly weeded paddock, where machines simply cannot be used. "All of us who have spent time on farms know there's no need on a modern farm" for a machete? What a steaming load of sanctimonious bs! This isn't just ignorance—it's a sneering dismissal of rural reality, dripping with the smugness of a city desk jockey who thinks farming's all drones and dainty shears.
Let's shred this nonsense. Machetes aren't some relic of a bygone era—they're a lifeline for farmers across Victoria's diverse landscapes. Clearing blackberry thickets in Gippsland? Hacking through woody weeds in the Mallee? Harvesting tough-stemmed crops like sorghum or managing scrub on a cattle run? Good luck without a machete, mate. Lambert's airy "I never saw my parents or grandparents" use one is anecdote, not evidence—maybe they didn't, but thousands do. The Department of Agriculture's own guidelines nod to machetes for trail maintenance and crop work. This isn't a Hollywood prop; it's a practical, affordable tool—often under $50—versus chainsaws that cost hundreds and need fuel or batteries.
Lambert's drivel insults every farmer sweating it out to feed this state. He's saying their lived experience—decades of hands-on toil—means nothing because he didn't see it in his curated little memory lane. Modern farms aren't sterile tech labs; they're gritty, messy battlegrounds against nature's chaos. Telling them "there's no need" is like telling a chef they don't need a knife—absurd, condescending, and blind. Ban machetes, and you're not just stripping a tool—you're hiking costs and slowing work for people already stretched thin. All so Lambert and his ilk can pat themselves on the back over a Melbourne gang spat. Farmers with their machetes are not a problem; it is feral gangs which must be controlled, which the government is too gutless to do, because of… racism … just like in the UK.
The hypocrisy burns hotter than a summer bushfire. Hutchins admits "way too many people" carry machetes, yet Lambert pretends they're useless on farms—where's the logic? If they're so obsolete, why are police pulling 40 weapons a day off the streets? This isn't about need; it's about optics—a knee-jerk sop to urban voters while rural Victorians get the shaft. Lambert's not solving crime; he's punishing the law-abiding, leaving farmers defenceless against weeds and bureaucrats alike. Criminals won't blink—they'll nab blades from the black market while growers scramble. Or make them from scrap steel. Go control that!
Picture Lambert out there, facing a wall of blackberry on a steep hillside with his "modern farm" toolkit—maybe a smartphone and a stern frown. He'd be begging for a machete in five minutes, thorns tearing his delusions to ribbons. This isn't policy; it's a farce—a seething testament to how detached Labor's gotten from the bush. "No place in Victoria"? Tell that to the calloused hands that prove him wrong every damn day. He's not just wrong—he's a walking affront to common sense.
"The Allan government will look to outlaw machetes across the state in a bid to get on top of Victoria's spiralling crime crisis.
The Herald Sun can reveal a statewide ban will be canvassed by Cabinet next week as Premier Jacinta Allan comes under increasing internal pressure to tackle the scourge.
Under the ban an amnesty would be introduced ahead of the prohibition of both the sale and possession of machetes.
Senior government sources said the ban was listed to be discussed at last week's Cabinet meeting before the Premier personally intervened to remove it from the agenda.
The intervention is understood to have infuriated colleagues, including Police Minister Anthony Carbines, amid concern the government has been too slow to respond to the crime crisis.
Minister Natalie Hutchins on Saturday said the government would strengthen knife laws as part of a "complete package" of reforms to crack down on violent crime.
She conceded that changes last year were failing to stamp out the concerning trend, saying it was "time to step it up even further".
"Certainly, everyone in government knows that there are way too many people carrying knives and machetes, particularly knives, at the moment, and that more needs to be done," she said.
"We have changed the legislation around this, but it's obviously time to step it up even further."
Ms Hutchins said she would support "any bans" that were brought forward by the Attorney-General and the Police Minister.
"We'll be looking at a complete package in reform to really boost the confidence of Victorians to feel safe out about in the community and in their homes," she said.
Ms Allan has repeatedly conceded her government is failing to keep Victorians safe and admitted it must do more to crack down on a worsening violent youth crime wave.
The government has for more than a year resisted calls to implement a statewide machete ban in a move that has divided the Labor caucus.
She has ordered a review into existing legislation, including bail laws, to determine what policy interventions she can make to ease the crisis.
Police were given sweeping new powers to stop the sale of machetes to youth gang members in March last year.
New laws made it illegal to possess a machete without a lawful reason, or to sell them to children.
Despite the laws, police last year seized 40 weapons a day from Victorian streets – the biggest haul in a decade.
A record 14,797 knives, swords, daggers, and machetes were seized throughout the year, renewing calls for a tougher weapons crackdown.
Police have noted an increase in the number of teens using machetes while crimes by 10 to 17-year-olds have reached their highest point since 2010.
It is understood former chief commissioner Shane Patton lobbied the government to implement a full machete ban.
He told a parliamentary inquiry in 2023 that the force had raised the prospect of tougher weapons laws, adding that knife crime was a "significant issue".
"We're very cognisant of the spate of knife crime that we've seen," he told the inquiry.
"A young person can't be carrying a machete around in public … there's no reason for them and they shouldn't be carrying them around."
The state opposition this week failed in a bid to move an amendment to make machetes prohibited weapons.
Opposition police spokesman David Southwick accused the Premier of squibbing an opportunity to take real action by backing the idea.
"Victorians shouldn't be left to take matters into their own hands because they have no confidence in the government's ability to keep them safe," he said.
"Premier Allan must get her head out of the sand and take real action today to end the crime crisis and restore community safety across Victoria."
During debate about strengthening weapons laws, Labor MP Nathan Lambert said there was no place for machetes in Victoria, including for agricultural use.
"All of us who have spent time on farms know that there is no need on a modern farm or in fact in almost any modern industry to have a machete," Mr Lambert said.
"Certainly even in my own time I never saw my parents or grandparents, both of whom farmed, have a machete around the toolshed.
"It simply was not a tool we needed – and there is certainly no need for people to be walking around urban environments with those weapons."
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