Why Cavemen Had It Better! A Heroic Life in a Free Cave vs. The Modern Slave! By James Reed

Forget your avocado toast and Wi-Fi woes, let's talk about the real golden age: the Paleolithic era, when cavemen lived the dream. Short lives? Sure. But they were manly, heroic, and sweeter, and their caves? Free for the taking. Compare that to today's low-income grind, where you're chained to a landlord's whim, drowning in rent, and dreaming of a shoebox apartment you'll never own. Let's unpack why the caveman, had it better than Greg, the gig-economy grunt.

Caves: The Original Zero-Down Mortgage

Picture this: you're a caveman. You spot a cozy cave, limestone walls, decent airflow, maybe a scenic view of a sabre-toothed cat's hunting ground. You walk in, club in hand, and it's yours. No credit checks, no 30-year mortgage, no HOA fees. The average renter spends 35% of their income on a one-bedroom apartment, $1,500 a month for a glorified closet. Homeownership? A pipe dream for 75% of millennials, who can't afford the Australian $1,000,000 median home price. Cavemen didn't needacredit score. They saw, they squatted, they conquered. Dispossession? Not in their vocabulary.

Heroic Days, Not Desk-Jockey Drudgery

Cavemen were the original action heroes. Hunt a mammoth? Check. Outrun a bear? Done. Every day was a high-stakes adventure, not a 9-to-5 slog answering emails for a boss who Zoom-calls from a yacht. Anthropologists estimate hunter-gatherers worked 15-20 hours a week, leaving time for storytelling, napping, or wooing by firelight. Compare that to Greg, clocking 50 hours driving Uber, only to afford a shared apartment and a Netflix subscription he's too tired to watch. Cavemen didn't have student loans or car payments.

Sweeter Simplicity, No Algorithmic Shackles

Life was sweet because it was simple. Cavemen ate what they killed or gathered, fresh berries, venison, no processed junk. No algorithm told them what to eat, buy, or think. Today, Greg's phone tracks his every move; 80% of Australians feel spied on by Big Tech. Cavemen had no rent hikes, no gentrification, no "smart" thermostats reporting to the cloud. Their community was tight; your tribe had your back, not a faceless landlord evicting you for missing one payment.

Short Life, Big Glory

Okay, cavemen died young, 20-30 years on average. But what a ride! Every day was a saga of survival, not a slow death by bureaucracy. Modern low-income life stretches longer (life expectancy's 78 now), but it's a treadmill of bills and burnout. Cavemen didn't stress about power bills. They lived boldly, loved fiercely, and died with stories etched in cave art. Greg's legacy? A TikTok nobody watches.

The Modern Dispossession Disaster

Today's housing crisis is a middle finger to the Australian Dream. Renters are serfs to corporate landlords. Cavemen didn't have BlackRock of communist China buying their caves. They had freedom to roam, claim a spot, and live without a bank's permission. We're not saying ditch your iPhone for a flint spear, but when "affordable housing" means a $2,000 studio with no windows, the cave looks like a penthouse.

The Call to Channel Your Inner Caveman

So, why romanticise cavemen? Because their life slaps you awake. They remind us what's lost: true autonomy, a home you don't owe your soul for, a life where survival feels epic, not soul-crushing. Next time you're tied to a faceless laptop, picture our cave man, grinning in his free cave, sharpening his spear. Maybe it's time to rethink this "progress" thing, or at least demand a housing market that doesn't make us envy a Neanderthal! This takes Tucker Carlson (see comments below) one step further.

https://insighttoincite.substack.com/p/helping-boomers-understand-the-effects

"Last week, Tucker Carlson made a statement that divided generations more sharply than what one might expect. He said that feudalism, for all its flaws, might in some ways have been better than the system we live under now. His reasoning was simple. A medieval serf, however bound, still had a cottage and a patch of land. He had something to pass down. Our generation often has neither. We are renters in an economy designed to keep us that way.

The reactions were immediate, and they revealed a line of fracture in American life. The loudest critics of Tucker's words were almost entirely Baby Boomers. They scoffed, they scolded, they laughed at the idea that anything in the past could be compared favourably to the present. To them, the suggestion was absurd. Yet among younger voices the response was different. Gen X, Millennials, and Zoomers largely agreed, not because they envy feudalism, but because they understand what Tucker meant. A system that grants stability, however flawed, looks better than one that strips away even the hope of permanence.

But younger men heard Tucker and quietly nodded. Not because they yearn for lords and castles, but because they recognized the truth in his provocation. They know the house their parents bought for a fraction of their salary is now priced at six or seven times the average wage. They know they'll carry student debt and car loans far longer than their fathers ever did. They know "retirement security" will vanish before they get there. They know that when their fathers sell the family home to fund a move to Florida or bankroll an RV, the inheritance goes with it.