What Does A Low Life Bum Like Uncle Len and Paul McCartney’s Daughter Have in Common? By Uncle Len the Ever-Dirty

     Ha! I have been waiting for this one my entire life, and now that moment is here! How sweet it is to see one’s entire life blossom at the last moment, the 11th hour. And it is all about dirty clothes, something I have spent my whole life in:

“"Basically, in life, rule of thumb: if you don't absolutely have to clean anything, don't clean it." Fashion designer Stella McCartney said this in an interview with the Observer this weekend, adding that she picked up the tip while working for bespoke tailors on London's prestigious Savile Row. Instead, she says, the "rule" is to "let the dirt dry and you brush it off". It may have been a throwaway comment at the end of the interview, but something about this line stuck with readers - many of whom have been doing several loads of laundry a week. So does she have a point? Is it better to avoid washing your clothes? Killing the planet one microfibre at a time This isn't the first time McCartney has recommended not washing our clothes. In fact, she has long advocated avoiding the washing machine - both for the longevity of the garments, but also because of the impact washing them has on the environment. Laura Diáz Sánchez, from the Plastic Soup Foundation advocacy group, agrees with this, particularly when it comes to high-street clothes, which contain more synthetic materials such as polyester and acrylic. "Every time we wash our clothes an average of nine million [plastic] microfibres are released into the environment," she tells BBC News. "The way we wash our clothes affects this, as well as the way our clothes are made - but the more we wash our clothes, the more microfibres are released."

When you do wash, she recommends setting the machine to a lower temperature and using liquid detergent: "Powder detergent creates more friction between the clothes [during washing], so more fibres are released, whereas liquid is smoother. The less friction there is in general, the fewer fibres are released." She advises against overloading washing machines for the same reason - fewer clothes in the drum means there's less friction.
But it's not just about microfibres. Washing an item of clothing too often can drastically shorten its lifespan, meaning that you're more likely to throw it out and buy something new. Prof Andrew Groves, head of the fashion design course at the University of Westminster, tells BBC News that the friction in washing machines is what gets rid of the stains, but is also what distorts a garment's shape and colour. "I have garments in my wardrobe that I've had for decades that look brand new, simply because I know how to care for them," he says - adding that this goes for both high-end and high-street pieces. The better you look after your clothes, he says, the longer they last, and the more sustainable your fashion is.”

     Ok, so the child of the Beetles, I mean Beatles, thinks that micro-plastics are released by washing the plastic clothes, which indicates how crazy our society is, since we should not be wearing such junk in the first place. But never mind, at least everyone now knows that I never wash my clothes, I am proud to say that my winter jumper has never been washed in about 10 years of its existence. No doubt, the ingrained grease helps in insulation. Sure, the smell gets bad, but I put it out in the sun to kill the bugs. The saner option is to not be like me, and to not wear the plastics in the first place, going for natural fibres such as wool. But, I am, like much of this society, insane, well, almost. And, one might even drop out of reality like heaps of India’s Jain community are doing, although they have yet to reach my enlightened state of living in sheds.



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Wednesday, 17 August 2022