Uncle Len’s Magic Mystery Tour By the Ugly Beetle, Uncle Len

     Roll up, roll up for the magical mystery tour, Adelaide style!
  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l8WMGBuNaus

     For the first time in as long as I could remember, I took a bus from the suburbs into town, on Sunday. Yeah, free travel, even with my Senior, dole and other bludger cards. And there I was thinking that I would be the only feral person on the ride. But to my utter delight, at each stop, a new and crazier character got on. The said crazed person dominated the proceedings until the king of madmen got on. He promptly told off an Aboriginal woman with a child in a pusher, for not cleaning ice-cream off her child’s face, a lot of it. He then took the liberty of doing do himself, wiping the ice-cream onto his hand, then smearing it on the seat. Was this a kind thing to do, or was it child molestation? I pondered this as he began a loud conversation with himself about bus timetables and what number bus did what. I thought this was simply random neurons firing due to lack of meds, which could be so, but he seemed to know what he was talking about. The man knew buses as much as I knew dumpster diving. Soon everyone in the bus asked him timetable information, forgetting to even use their smart phones.

     Then we reached Rundle mall, and it was time for many lunatics, myself included to alight, and begin our cultural rampage for the day, me through bins. I felt good knowing that however mad I am, there is always someone madder out there. Once upon a time these crazy people were locked away from society, but today, in our enlightened age, people like me are free to roam the streets, or in buses, smear ice- cream on seats, that gentle people may soon sit on. I think to myself, it’s a wonderful, wonderful, clown world:
  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CWzrABouyeE