Uncle Len, Comes out as Black, Disabled, LGBT (?) and a Womyn By Uncle Len, the Gender Bender, Offender Return to Sender

     Emails fly into the ALOR mail box, where once pigeons blissfully slept, constantly asking questions about Uncle Len. Questions like: what is the thickness of the corrugated iron in his shed, and why is a product, which is obviously steel (having a carbon content, and hence by definition, mild steel) called “iron” anyway? Then there are email letters asking about Uncle Len’s gender status. I am pleased to publicly respond that I now identify with all genders, and all creatures, making my sexually completely multidimensional, universal, cosmopolitan and global. Just as the good folk of the University and College Union (UCU) propose:

“The University and College Union (UCU) has declared that anyone can “self-identify” as “black, disabled, LGBT+ or women”. “UCU has a long history (from predecessor unions) of enabling members to self-identify whether that is being black, disabled, LGBT+ or women [sic],” a six-page position statement from the union, which “represents over 120,000 academics, lecturers, trainers, instructors, researchers, managers, administrators, computer staff, librarians and postgraduates in universities, colleges, prisons, adult education and training organisations across the UK.” “UCU supports the right of all women (including trans women) to safe spaces… UCU also supports a social, rather than a medical, model of gender recognition that will help challenge repressive gender stereotypes in the workplace and in society,” the statement added. The document focused primarily on gender like this, but that reference to “enabling members to self-identify whether that is being black, disabled, LGBT+ or women” was repeated three times.

On the topic of gender identity more particularly, the UCU conceded that “There has been argument that debating gender identity is a matter of academic freedom”, and claimed that the UCU is itself a defender and promoter of academic freedom —  but that “academic freedom is bound up with other civil liberties and human rights so therefore does not give the right to discriminate. ” The UCU repeatedly stressed their self-proclaimed status as “champions of equality” and “commitment to intersectionality”. “UCU is committed to an intersectional approach within all its work,” the position paper declared. “This is UCU’s positon [sic]. The strength of the Union is to bring members together and to build bridges rooted in equality. UCU believes that for true solidarity we need to be speaking to and working with each other and acknowledging and celebrating our intersectional differences.”

     Yes, I agree with all of the above, and maybe more depending upon how much cheap plonk I have guzzled down my gullet. That is why I intend to start my athletic career, at least at the master’s level, in women’s sport. I intend to compete in the ladies over 80-years egg and spoon race, to gear up for the next Olympics, whenever that is, in one of my gender identities. I am collecting all of the necessary sports clothes from opt shops, even though the older ladies there think that I am metaphysically creepy. Well, welcome to the modern gender bender blender world folks! All aboard for the train ride to clown town with Uncle Len standing in for Thomas the Stank Engine!



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Friday, 12 July 2024

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