The Great Toilet Roll and Paper and Towel Glue Up Conspiracy By Uncle Len, Former Toilet Cleaner, Back in the Day
Hello everybody, yours truly Uncle Len, has just been told that lockdowns are over, and has emerged from his shed where he lives with his pet rats and cockroaches. I do not know how I survived two years of being inside a shed, shaking in fear as the New Black Death, Covid monkey flu, killed off the majority of the Australian population, didn’t it? Still, isolation gave me time to think, about something I have had a lot of experience with, toilet rolls, and paper hand towels. People can say what they like, but I have observed that the toilet roll companies are gluing up the beginning/first sheet, so well that one needs to rip into the roll, tearing away great masses of paper just to get things moving. Paper towels are even worse. There is simply no need to glue up the beginning sheet, since toilet rolls are in packets, and do not uncurl like, I don’t know, barbed wire. I believe that the companies do this to gain by making the initial tears unusable, hence over thousands of rolls making a pretty penny. It is a terrible, sad thing, to see such waste of one of mankind’s most important products.
“A feisty gran has caused a flap around the world for her attack on a loo paper manufacturer for not “properly gluing” their toilet rolls during production.
Affectionately known as Granny Daffy, the 94-year-old former factory worker took issue in a Facebook video with Kimberly-Clark – maker of Kleenex – after the “flaps” were missing from her loo rolls.
The flap is the first piece of toilet paper that lifts off on a new roll.
But Ms Daffy complained that sometimes the flap was glued down so tightly the paper would tear as it was unwound. The viral #bringbacktheflap video was filmed and posted online by her granddaughter Melissa, 47.
The video had more than 5000 reactions as a chorus of voices urged Kimberly-Clark to heed the gran’s plea.
“You can’t do without the flap … you waste toilet paper,” Ms Daffy told The Advertiser while touring the Kimberly-Clark Kleenex factory in Tantanoola on Wednesday.
Ms Daffy’s VIP tour was documented on Thursday morning by Channel 7’s Sunrise program.
Ms Daffy, who had been flown in from central NSW to visit the factory, became the appointed “Kleenex Granny Toilet Paper Tester” and was excited to watch the South Australian-manufactured toilet paper in production.
The factory produces about 1.2 million rolls a day.
“Who would have thought that when you go to the loo (and) you’ve got a little roll it comes off a big roll – a daddy roll,” the former Remington electric razor assembler said.
“I’d crack the whip – I’d make sure they (toilet rolls) all had flaps.”
Kleenex mill manager Adam Carpenter assured Ms Daffy and her fans that there was no conspiracy to do away with the “flap”.
“It’s really around the positioning of the glue that holds the final sheet in place,” he said.
“If that is slightly off the target spot it can cause the very edge of the sheet to glue to the roll so there is no flap.”
Mr Carpenter said he would love to see Ms Daffy join the quality control team.
“She spent quite some time out on the floor this morning talking to some of our operations people – she actually knew a fair bit more about manufacturing,” he said.
Ms Daffy said she was amazed Kimberly-Clark responded to her initial video and that they flew her to Millicent. She promised she would remain a loyal Kleenex customer.”
Well, I would not be so easy to deal with, and if invited to the factory, would indulge in toilet roll fights and other things mature gentlemen do.
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