The Great German Beer-pocalypse: A Frothy Fable, By Richard Miller (Londonistan)

In the land of lederhosen and pretzels, a dark cloud looms over Germany's sacred beer halls. The Federal Statistical Office, with its cold, hard numbers, has declared 2025 the year of the Great Beer Slump. A measly 34.5 million hectolitres sold from January to May? That's a 7 percent plunge, folks, like a poorly poured pint spilling over the edge. The breweries, those hallowed temples of hops and barley, are trembling. Will Germany's 1,500 breweries survive this sudsy apocalypse, or are we witnessing the twilight of the Weissbier?

Volker Kuhl, the grim-faced CEO of Veltins brewery, stood before the masses, clutching a stein like a prophet of doom. "This is historic!" he wailed to Welt newspaper, his voice echoing through empty beer gardens. "A struggle for survival!" He pointed to the skies, which, ironically, were sunny, warm, and dry, perfect for guzzling a crisp Helles. Yet, the people turned away. The European Football Championship of 2024, that glorious festival of sweat and suds, failed to spark the usual beer-fuelled frenzy. Even the roar of the crowds couldn't drown out the sound of kegs sitting untouched.

Why, oh why, has Deutschland forsaken its frothy birthright? Holger Eichele, the Brewers' Association bigwig, blames "poor consumer sentiment," as if Germans are too busy sulking to sip. Health nuts are shunning alcohol, the elderly are sipping tea instead of Pilsner, and the youth, those rebellious whippersnappers, are barely drinking at all. A 2023 Statista survey revealed a measly 24 percent of 18- to 28-year-olds regularly cradle a beer, compared to the 38 percent of their elders who practically bathed in it. The kids these days prefer kombucha and existential climate change dread, apparently.

But lo, there's a shadowy force at play, one the brewers dare not name. The demographic tides are shifting, like a poorly balanced keg rolling downhill. Over a third of 20- to 39-year-olds in 2024 have a "migration background," and in Hamburg, more than half the schoolchildren do. Many hail from lands where beer is deemed haram, a forbidden elixir shunned in favour of, what, sparkling water? The horror! Nearly 6.5 million newcomers since 2015, and not a single one seems to care for a frosty Märzen. Coincidence? Or conspiracy?

The traditions are crumbling faster than a stale pretzel. Rainer Emig, Veltins' sales guru, laments that folks still pair beer with their schnitzel but skip the extra rounds at social gatherings. No more clinking glasses until dawn, no more belting out drinking songs in smoky taverns. The beer garden, once a bastion of camaraderie, is quieter than a monastery. Even the rise of non-alcoholic beer, doubling in production over a decade, can't save the day. Munich's alcohol-free beer garden, Die Null, opened with fanfare in 2023, only to shutter by summer's end, its zero-proof dreams evaporating like a spilled lager.

So here we stand, at the precipice of a beer-less future. Will Germany's breweries fall like dominoes, or will a new generation rise, steins in hand, to reclaim the frothy glory? Perhaps the answer lies in a bold new brew, Haram-Free Hefeweizen, anyone? Or maybe, just maybe, the Germans will remember their roots, crack open a cold one, and do something about the Great White replacement by mass immigration and multiculturalism!

https://rmx.news/article/is-mass-immigration-leading-to-the-death-of-germanys-breweries/

"Beer consumption in Germany has dropped to its lowest level since reunification, prompting concerns about the future of the country's brewing industry.

According to data from the Federal Statistical Office, German breweries sold 34.5 million hectoliters of beer between January and May 2025. This marks a decrease of nearly 7 percent compared to the same period last year.

The decline continues a long-term trend, with consumption falling consistently over the past decade. In 2013, Germans drank an average of 107 liters of beer per person annually. By 2023, that figure had dropped to 88 liters.

Industry leaders warn that the current drop poses a serious threat to breweries. Volker Kuhl, CEO of the Veltins brewery, told Welt newspaper, "This is a historic fact. It's worrying and means a real struggle for survival for many breweries." Germany currently has around 1,500 breweries, but this figure could drop drastically over the next decade.

"Lots of sun, warm, and dry — the weather in the first half of the year should have helped brewers and the restaurant industry. But it didn't," he noted.

"As with the restaurant and retail sectors, the poor consumer sentiment is having a major impact on breweries' business," added Holger Eichele, CEO of the German Brewers' Association.

Even large-scale events such as the 2024 European Football Championship, which had been expected to boost sales, failed to reverse the decline.

Eichele suggests that health concerns and an aging population are major factors behind the shift in drinking habits. He notes that young people are drinking less as well, supported by a 2023 Statista survey that found just 24 percent of Germans aged 18 to 28 regularly drink beer, compared to 38 percent of the previous generation.

Industry leaders make no note, however, of the changing demographic in the country due to mass immigration.

Among people aged 20 to 39, more than one in three (34 percent) had a migration background in 2024. Among children, that figure is even higher. In 2021, the percentage of school children in Hamburg who have a migration background surpassed half (51.4 percent) for the first time.

Nearly 6.5 million people living in Germany in 2024 immigrated after 2015, many of whom arrived from predominantly Muslim nations where alcohol consumption is actively discouraged or considered haram.

Brewers say traditional drinking customs are fading. Veltins sales director Rainer Emig told Welt that while beer with meals remains common, people are no longer drinking additional rounds during social events.

Non-alcoholic beer sales have increased sharply, but not enough to arrest the slide. Deutsche Welle reported that production of alcohol-free beer in Germany has more than doubled in the past decade. However, attempts to replace traditional beer culture with alcohol-free alternatives have had limited success. In 2023, Munich's first alcohol-free beer garden, Die Null, opened but closed at the end of the summer and did not reopen." 

 

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Wednesday, 16 July 2025

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