The Bright Side of the Bird Flu Vax: Why a Little BPL is the Best Thing Since Sliced Chicken! By Chris Knight (Florida)

Oh, the humanity! Or should we say, the fowl-anity? In a world where headlines scream about beta-propiolactone (BPL),that plucky little chemical classified as a "possible" cancer-causer by the U.S. and a "presumed" one in Europe, it's easy to get your feathers ruffled. The Trump admin's shiny new "Generation Gold Standard" bird flu vaccine platform, funded to the tune of $500 million, is slinging this carcinogenic stuff like it's the next kale smoothie. But hold onto your syringe, folks: we're diving into satire mode to uncover the real upsides of this avian elixir.

Perk #1: Glow-in-the-Dark Immunity (Literally)

Forget boring old vaccines that just prevent disease. With BPL's genotoxic glow-up, you're not just protected, you're illuminated. That "possible carcinogen" tag? It's code for "premium nightlight feature." Imagine strutting into a dark club, your cells faintly shimmering from trace BPL residues, turning heads (and maybe a few oncologists). It's like being your own bioluminescent bird: part flamingo, part firefly, all fabulous. And hey, if it mutates your DNA just right, you might evolve into Homo superioris, able to cluck in multiple languages or photosynthesise during quarantine.

Perk #2: The Ultimate Diet Hack, No Carbs, Just Carcinogens

Bird flu? That's so 2024. Why risk feverish feathers and existential poultry dread when you can opt for the BPL Bird Flu Vax Diet? Studies (okay, one satirical think-tank in my fever dream) show trace BPL exposure revs up your metabolism like a caffeinated henhouse. Those "unacceptable" residues? They're basically appetite suppressants from the gods of inactivation. Skip the gym; one jab and you're shedding pounds faster than a moulting mallard. Bonus: Europe's Group 1B label means it's "presumed" effective, presume away the paunch!

Perk #3: Conspiracy Cred, You're a Walking WikiLeaks

In the era of lab-leak lore and chimeric chicken chimeras, getting vaxxed with BPL catapults you to tinfoil-hat royalty. "Yeah, I got the bird flu shot," you'll brag at parties. "The one with the chemical that causes tumours in rats? Totally. Pass the guac." Suddenly, you're not just vaccinated, you're vindicated. NIAID's funding gain-of-function bird flu experiments? Patent-holding Dr. Taubenberger's involvement? It's all part of the plot you're now in on. Who needs Alex Jones when your arm's a barcode for the deep state?

Perk #4: Eco-Friendly Apocalypse Prep

Let's be real: Bird flu pandemics are nature's way of saying, "Cull the herd, humans." But the BPL vax? It's the greenest gray goo since edible cutlery. Inactivated whole-virus magic means fewer live birds go the way of the dodo (shoutout to H5N1's avian casualties). And that $500 mil? Straight to universal flu and corona shields, BPL-1357 for your next sneeze, BPL-24910 for the cough that ends civilisations. Sure, the EPA calls it a Group 2B cancer baddie, but think of the trees saved from panic-buying toilet paper. Plus, if it does spark a rogue tumour, consider it your personal carbon sink, cells multiplying? Offset achieved!

Perk #5: Better Than the Alternative, Bird Flu Blues

Picture this nightmare: No vax, full-blown bird flu. You're wheezing like a winded woodpecker, your lungs a featherbed of regret, while headlines blare "Poultrygeddon: Humans Edition." Fever dreams of Colonel Sanders judging you from the afterlife? Check. Quarantine with nothing but canned soup and existential dread? Double check. Now contrast: Pop a BPL jab, and the worst you get is a mild itch and a lifetime supply of "What if?" dinner conversations. Or maybe cancer, and who know what else? As the NJ Dept of Health warns, handle BPL "with extreme caution," but hey, bird flu demands extreme commitment.

The Punchline: Wing It with Wisdom

Forget apples: A little possible carcinogen today keeps the pandemic plague away! That is the new line being pushed now. Folks, jokes aside, don't lose your reason and don't be panicked; this could be even worse than the COVID vax if they get this plandemic up and running.

https://jonfleetwood.substack.com/p/deadly-cancer-causing-chemical-bpl

"The chemical used in the Trump administration's new 'Generation Gold Standard' bird flu vaccine platform—beta-propiolactone (BPL)—is classified as a 'Group 2B' carcinogen by U.S. regulators (meaning the substance is possibly cancer-causing in humans) and as a 'Group 1B' carcinogen in Europe (meaning it's presumed to cause cancer in humans).

A carcinogen is any substance or agent capable of causing cancer by damaging a cell's DNA and leading to uncontrolled cell growth.

The revelation follows this website's report that the U.S. National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases (NIAID)—under Dr. Jeffery Taubenberger's direction—has been funding the creation of chimeric, lab-engineered bird flu viruses in American and foreign laboratories, even as Taubenberger himself is named on a federal patent for the very BPL-utilizing bird flu vaccine platform those experiments are designed to justify.

A May 2025 government press release announced the multi-million dollar BPL platform will be used to generate bird flu pandemic vaccines:

The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) and the National Institutes for Health (NIH) today announced the development of the next-generation, universal vaccine platform, Generation Gold Standard, using a beta-propiolactone (BPL)-inactivated, whole-virus platform.

This initiative represents a decisive shift toward transparency, effectiveness, and comprehensive preparedness, funding the NIH's in-house development of universal influenza and coronavirus vaccines, including candidates BPL-1357 and BPL-24910. These vaccines aim to provide broad-spectrum protection against multiple strains of pandemic-prone viruses like H5N1 avian influenza and coronaviruses including SARS-CoV-2, SARS-CoV-1, and MERS-CoV.

U.S., UN, WHO, IARC 'Group 2B' Classification: Possible Carcinogen in Humans

Since 1974, the International Agency for Research on Cancer (IARC), an intergovernmental agency of the United Nations' (UN) World Health Organization (WHO) that researches the causes of cancer, has known that BPL causes cancer in mammals.

According to IARC documents, "β-Propiolactone was tested for carcinogenicity in mice following skin application or subcutaneous or intraperitoneal injection, and in rats following subcutaneous injection, producing local tumours. It is carcinogenic to mice after single-dose exposure. Oral administration to rats gave some indication of carcinogenic activity. The results obtained in Syrian hamsters and guinea-pigs are equivocal (IARC, 1974)."

A February 2020 peer-reviewed study in ACS Publications, the publishing division of the American Chemical Society (ACS), confirms BPL is likely carcinogenic in humans and causes death in animals.

"Direct exposure to BPL, in addition to probable carcinogenicity, brings severe irritations to several systems, including skin burns and permanent damage to the eye, liver, and kidney. Even at a single administered dose, BPL is shown to be highly tumorigenic, genotoxic, and carcinogenic in experimental animals. At higher doses it even causes death," the study reads.

The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) confirms BPL is a "potential occupational carcinogen" because the compound causes "tumors of the liver, skin & stomach" in animals.

Documents from the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA), an independent federal agency responsible for protecting human health and the environment, acknowledge that BPL is "classified …as a Group 2B, possible human carcinogen" by the IARC.

The New Jersey Department of Health and Senior Services also confirms the following regarding BPL:

"should be handled as a carcinogen—with extreme caution";

"is on the Special Health Hazard Substance List because it is a carcinogen, mutagen and corrosive";

"[t]here may be no safe level of exposure to a carcinogen, so ill contact should be reduced to the lowest possible level";

"may be a carcinogen in humans since it has been shown to cause skin and stomach cancers in animals";

"[m]any scientists believe there is no safe level of exposure to a carcinogen. Such substances may also have the potential for causing reproductive damage in humans";

"Most scientists agree that a chemical that causes cancer in animals should be treated as a suspected human carcinogen unless proven otherwise."

The U.S. Health and Human Services' (HHS) National Toxicology Program (NTP) also confirms that BPL "is reasonably anticipated to be a human carcinogen based on sufficient evidence of carcinogenicity from studies in experimental animals."

Even 'Trace' Amounts of BPL Are Dangerous—But Vaccines Contain Detectable Amounts

An October 2025 publication in the peer-reviewed journal Analytical Methods, published by the U.K.'s Royal Society of Chemistry, confirms that even residual amounts of BPL in vaccine vials are "unacceptable."

The authors explicitly warn that it is "necessary to eliminate any trace amounts of BPL remaining after the inactivation process to ensure vaccine safety."

"One of the most commonly used techniques for producing vaccines is viral deactivation," the study reads. "β-Propiolactone (BPL) is an agent used to inactivate and sterilize biological products, including vaccines. BPL is favored for its ability to preserve virus capsid proteins and maintain high immunogenicity. However, BPL is an alkylating agent with potential carcinogenic properties, making it unacceptable for residual amounts to be present in the final vaccine product. Therefore, it is necessary to eliminate any trace amounts of BPL remaining after the inactivation process to ensure vaccine safety."