The Ban-Aid Society Strikes Again: Melatonin Madness! By Mrs. Vera West

Forget the machete ban. That was insulting enough, treating every farmer and collector like a would-be gang member because a few thugs thought they were starring in a cheap gangster flick. But the new melatonin crackdown? That's the one that really stings.

Here's the story: iHerb, the global vitamin supermarket, just slammed the shutters on melatonin sales to Australians. Not because melatonin is dangerous to adults. Not because over-55s, who can buy it legally in pharmacies here (2 mg over counter, higher doses by prescription), suddenly started overdosing in the streets. No, it's because some kids wolfed down too many gummy bears and the poison hotline lit up. Where was the parent supervision here?

So, what do the authorities do? Instead of asking why kids aren't sleeping in the first place, or why parents are desperate enough to shovel sleep hormones into their children, or not supervising the drug, the regulators decided the answer was obvious: ban it for everyone! That's equality in this socialist cesspool.

The Ban-Aid Society in action. A few scratches, a few isolated misuses, and the response is amputation. Just like the machete ban, where a handful of teenage idiots led to a nationwide crackdown that made it harder for farmers to clear lantana than for politicians to clear their expenses. Just don't do anything about the gangs; too politically incorrect given the colour of the machete fighters!

Now older Australians, the very people the TGA itself said should have access over the counter, are the ones being punished, those who need melatonin for sleep, now facing prescription only batches. The cost-of-living crisis already means cutting back on groceries, heating, and a night out once in a blue moon. Now pensioners who found affordable melatonin overseas will be forced to pay pharmacy prices for tiny low-dose 2 mg tablets that cost triple what they did from iHerb.

And let's be clear: this isn't about health. In the United States, melatonin sits on the shelf right next to the multivitamins. Americans are free to take as much, or as little as they like. Somehow, they manage. But in Australia? No, no, we're far too fragile. Big Brother has to step in, wag the finger, and make sure no one can be trusted with a sleep aid without the blessing of a pharmacist and a price tag fattened up by red tape, to keep up Big Pharma profits.

The irony? Kids will still be sleepless. Parents will still be desperate. And older Australians who just want a decent night's rest will now have to jump through hoops, pay more, or risk Customs letters if they try ordering online.

This is what passes for policy in 2025: not solutions, but optics. Not responsibility, but bans. It's the Ban-Aid Society at work, and it punishes the responsible majority every single time.

What next will be banned? While they are on a roll, probably some vitamins, graduating to all vitamins over time, the Fabian socialist way. There have been reported overdoses of vitamin B6, with too high a dose, and doses being where they should not be, like magnesium.So that one may go next. It is worth stockpiling on these items, if you need them, just in case.