The 2025 Australian Ministerial Christmas Card: “Family Travel Edition,” By James Reed
Dear Taxpayers,
Season's greetings from Canberra, where the summer sun is shining, the barbecues are sizzling, and your hard-earned dollars are winging their way to ski fields, grand finals, the Formula 1 in Melbourne, the Boxing Day Test, and (because why not?) an "exclusive Uluru sunset dinner" that somehow required the Labor clan to be on the official manifest.
This year the Albanese Government has outdone itself in the true spirit of Christmas giving, gifting ministers' spouses and children more than $824,000 in "family travel entitlements" since 2022. In terms the average punter can understand, about 110,000 smashed-avocado brunches the young people apparently can't afford anymore.
Nothing says "cost-of-living relief" quite like Communications Minister Anika Wells charging the public $36,000 so her husband could chase three AFL Grand Finals, a Formula 1 weekend, multiple cricket fixtures, and, because balance is important, a quick spot of taxpayer-funded skiing. When asked about the snowfields excursion, a spokesperson clarified it was "official winter sports engagement," which is parliamentary code for "someone had frequent-flyer points burning a hole in their pocket."
Trade Minister Don Farrell, never one to be outdone at the buffet of public money, clocked in at a tidy $73,000. Highlights included premium seats at football and tennis, plus that romantic Uluru sunset experience. One imagines the minister gazing thoughtfully at the Rock while reflecting on how best to negotiate trade deals between canapé courses.
Over on the opposition benches, the Coalition managed a comparatively frugal $574,000, which in Canberra these days practically qualifies them for a St Vincent de Paul hamper.
But spare a thought for independent sensation Senator Fatima Payman, who, despite having no ministerial portfolio whatsoever, still managed to rack up nearly $80,000 getting the family backwards and forwards between Perth and Canberra 41 times. At that pace she's basically running a private shuttle service rebadged as "parliamentary business."
Prime Minister Albanese, whose own family travel came in at a modest-by-comparison figure, gallantly defended his colleagues: "Everything is within the rules." Which is technically correct; the same way eating an entire Christmas ham in one sitting is "within" the rules of most households on December 25. Doesn't make it wise, seemly, or particularly palatable to the growing queue at the Salvos van.
Still, let's not be grinches. After all, these are busy people representing us at very important sporting events the rest of us apparently can't be trusted to attend without ministerial supervision. And who among us hasn't needed a quick $116,000 jaunt to Paris during the Olympics to… checks notes … oversee the rings, the flame, and presumably the quality of the croissants?
So as another Australian family camps in a tent this Christmas because rent ate the pay packet, raise a lukewarm cup of instant noodles to our political class. They're up there in business class, toasting your health, your sacrifice, and the generous "value for money" guidelines that let them take the whole extended family along for the ride.
Merry Christmas, Australia. Try the eggnog; it's on the house. Unfortunately the house is no longer yours.
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