Spare a Thought for Illegal Immigrant Bank Robbers! By Charles Taylor (Florida)
It must be tough for illegal immigrants, first having to invade a country, then go through all the red tape to get numerous welfare benefits, and then, when there is not enough money to renew the iPhone, to rob banks, if one does not speak the local language. One illegal, a Venezuelan-born man named Yeixon Brito-Gonzalez, had such a language problem, not speaking English. You know, he was in a desperate bid to make it across the border before being displaced from his homeland, the illegal immigration story supposes. He tried to rob a bank in Sandusky, Ohio, using a translator app, but the tellers did not comply. So, he left the bank, dragging his lip. It was not hard for the police to capture him, following the trail.
While the story is amusing, Brito-Gonzalez does not appear to be a member of the Venezuelan prison gang Tren de Aragua, like many others. In January 2024, members of this gang attacked police in New York City, and in November 2023, one gang member killed a former police officer in Miami. It is but one more example of diversity and multiculturalism, "enriching" the culture, as the Left tells us across the West.
"Normally the crimes we have heard illegal immigrants commit in this country are utterly horrific, but thankfully this one was just too funny not to write about.
A Venezuelan-born man named Yeixon Brito-Gonzalez, who is more likely than not a "newcomer" as the mainstream media calls illegals, was caught trying to rob a bank in Sandusky, Ohio, last week.
What allowed the cops to catch him was that he couldn't speak English and had to use a translator app to make his demands to the tellers. The tellers did not comply, so Brito-Gonzalez, probably feeling like a complete idiot, simply left.
You'd think he would try to at least learn how to say "give me the money" in English or have an accomplice with him who could, but nobody ever said small-time criminals were smart.
The cops had someone who could speak Spanish with them upon finding Brito-Gonzalez a short while later, where he tried to play dumb and deny the robbery but somehow figured that saying he needed money in a bag was the best way to word it.
Genius.
"I have been in law enforcement for over 20 years and this is the first time I encountered something like this, someone using a translator app to try and rob a bank. First time our officers have dealt with it too," said Sandusky Police Chief Jared Oliver.
I should clarify that whether or not Brito-Gonzalez is indeed here illegally is not fully confirmed, but the fact that he had no ID on him at the time of his arrest seems to suggest such.
Still, the feds are going to have some questions for him (then again, this is the Biden Administration we're talking about, so they'll probably just let him go).
If only every story of illegal aliens committing crimes was this funny.
Instead, in just these past couple of months, we have heard about (child) rapists, murderers, and seen instances of terrorists being caught trying to cross the border.
We have seen members or affiliates of the Venezuelan prison gang Tren de Aragua attack New York City cops at the end of January and kill a former police officer in Miami in November, not to mention that the brother of Laken Riley murderer Jóse Ibarra is suspected of having ties to the gang.
Then we have members of the cartels like Michelle "La Chely" Pineda, who carved people up and offered their hearts to Santa Muerte in Ciudad Juárez before trying to expand operations in El Paso, Texas.
We even had a supposed member of Hezbollah try to enter and "make a bomb" in New York City, with a ludicrous backstory to match.
On top of that, you have various unaffiliated criminals like the guy who has been deported seven times being arrested for murder, the guy who killed two-year-old Jeremy Poou Caceres, a triple murderer in Minnesota, the killer of Ruby Garcia, or the drunk driver who killed a mother and her son in Colorado. And those are just the ones who killed American citizens.
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