Machetes, Didgeridoos and Home Invasion By John Steele

     Here is a story about an old guy who fought off home invaders with his trusty, rusty machete. The machete pictured is fairly puny, and cheap but did the job. If one goes onto eBay, seeking these tools to clear away scrub, chop wood for your camp fire, or just to cuddle on cold nights, when the wolves are howling in the distance, the sound echoing in the dark primal recesses of the mind … hell, I forgot what the punch line was … Anyway, check out Cold Steel, my favourite company.
  https://www.adelaidenow.com.au/news/law-order/man-reportedly-fights-off-masked-intruders-with-machete-in-park-holme/news-story/a611e3e7efa9dbb0b50b554e591c81c0?utm_source=The%20Advertiser&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=editorial

     One could always go the way of playing the didgeridoo in one’s under wear, ever-prepared for unwanted visitors to break down your door at 4 a.m., for a friendly sing song.
  https://www.adelaidenow.com.au/news/law-order/didgeridoo-man-kym-abrook-confronts-alleged-home-invader-outside-court/news-story/fc444b2ca78c206b769939374c969cef