Just Monkeying Around with Monkeypox By James Reed
With all the serious material on monkeypox, and the legitimate concern that the globalist elites may be using this as the next tyrannical thing after Covid, it is best to have a laugh at this theatre of the absurd, and no-one does it better than the Christian satire site, The Babylon Bee.com. Here is a recent sample.
“Monkeypox is here! EVERYONE PANIC! You thought COVID wasn't a big deal? Well, get ready to spend every waking moment of your life in constant terror for fear that the next person you run into might have a rare disease with a low transmission rate.
Think you might have it? Diagnose yourself by consulting these symptoms:
1) A mild headache: Run for your life! YOU'RE ALREADY DEAD!
2) You've been to England in the last six months: You might also be British, which is another problem altogether.
3) Italian plumbers make you FURIOUS: Throwing all those barrels is making you super buff, though.
4) You pick a bug out of your wife's hair and eat it: Helpful but gross. Don't do that.
5) You become confused and angry every time you see a monolith: WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
6) All of your pants are at the tailor to have a hole added for your tail: If you haven't figured it out by now—you're a monkey. Sad.
7) You just got back from a tour of Dr. Fauci's Wuhan Monkeypox Lab: Duct tape is not a valid tool for air sealing a room against viral infection.
8) A tiny monkey bursts out of your chest: If you had the vaccine, the monkey would have exploded out of your body but in a slightly more mild way.
9) You insist that selectively bred bananas are evidence of creation: An atheist's nightmare! Mic drop!
10) Zero symptoms: Better quarantine just to be safe.
In the end, it doesn't matter what your symptoms are, if you die, you'll be recorded as a monkeypox statistic.”
“WASHINGTON, D.C.—The Monkeypox pandemic has finally breached the shores of the United States, with the CDC confirming a staggering 1 infections so far. In response, America's favorite, most trusted doctor, Dr. Anthony Fauci, issued a statement recommending people stop the spread of Monkeypox by covering their eyes, ears, and mouth.
Fauci accepted 137 TV interviews and a book deal after issuing the guidelines essentially recommending people look the other way rather than investigate the source of this new outbreak.
"As I, the Science, have always said, lockdowns don't work. What really works is turning a blind eye to where this outbreak nonsense may or may not have leaked from," said Dr. Fauci to a fawning NBC news anchor trying to get his autograph. "And I'd like to add that there is no evidence the Monkeypox outbreak is connected to the NIH-funded Institute of Monkeypox Studies next door to patient zero."
Not all health professionals agree with Dr. Fauci's health order. Dr. Corry Larreia, a world-renowned monkey virologist and respected expert in finding the source of Monkeypox outbreaks, said Dr. Fauci was wrong and the outbreak should be investigated in full.
At publishing time, Dr. Larreia had been disbarred, lost his virology license along with his official stethoscope, was banned from his local book club, snubbed by Apple's Siri, and lost both of his hands in a tragic wood chipper accident.