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Why Uncle len is Rubbing McDonald’s French Fries on His Bald Head By Uncle Len, the Shiny Dome

When I have some money left over from my mental disability pension, like most health conscious people I go into McDonalds and buy a big pot of French fries. The “French’ in the “fries,” makes me seem sophisticated and multicultural, which is better than just getting plain old greasy flies, I mean fries. Then, I don’t eat the delicacy, but smear the contents all over my bald head! I did not know why I did this until now:

“A cure for baldness may have just been found in the most unlikely of places, according to scientists in Japan - who think the answer could lie in your McDonald’s meal. Yep, believe it or not you read that right. According to the Daily Record, there’s a chemical used in McDonald’s fries that could help hair regrowth. The scientists managed to regrow hair on mice using what they’ve referred to as a ‘simple method’ using human stem cells, which generated fresh follicles capable of sprouting new hairs. Within days the mice had furry backs and scalps, and after these preliminary experiments it’s thought that the same technique could work in people. The Japanese team first had a breakthrough after they managed to produce ‘hair follicle germs’ in their lab for the first time. These are the cells that fuel follicle development, and because they’ve never been regenerated before are considered the ‘Holy Grail’ of hair loss research. Turns out the secret was to use dimethylpolysiloxane, the same chemical that’s found in McDonald’s fries - which is added for safety reasons to prevent cooking oil from foaming. Professor Junji Fukuda of Yokohama National University, said: “The key for the mass production of HFGs was a choice of substrate materials for the culture vessel. “We used oxygen-permeable dimethylpolysiloxane (PDMS) at the bottom of culture vessel, and it worked very well.”

     Before this people on the street just thought that I was mad, but now I have a scientific justification for my unusual behavioural trait.



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Thursday, 09 July 2020
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