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Uncle Len’s Great Coronapocalpyse Adventures By Uncle Len, Man of the Plague

     Well, there you go, all those people doing bootcamp, if they break the social distancing rules, well the police are going to swat you, and rightly so. But, why should there be bootcamps at all, forms of exercise  torture? If gyms can be shut down because some big guy can be shedding viruses like cats shed fur, all over the place, then shut them down too. And what is it, 10 people max at a funeral, and 5 for a wedding? Where did they pull these numbers from? Surely these are high risk places, since wedding involve people getting pretty close together, and funerals, well someone is dead anyway, which is hardly a good start. So, shut them down too!

     Yes, this is truly a fantastic time for your resident shed-dwelling hobo writer, who has suffered from social coronavirus all of his life. Social distancing is what I have lived with as people avoid me like the …  plague! And soon everyone is going to be like Uncle Len because stage three social distancing is coming soon:

“From midnight Australia will enter 'stage two' of restrictions to slow the spread of coronavirus. Businesses including massage parlours and nail salons will be closed and weddings will be limited to five people. But even before those measures come in, officials will discuss what the next level of restrictions will be. The national cabinet will tonight to debate 'stage three' restrictions after Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews warned this morning: 'Stage three is coming'. Nobody knows exactly what the next stage will entail - but experts have told Daily Mail Australia that more extreme social distancing measures are inevitable. 'Distancing can be more extreme and restrictions can be made tougher. Watch this space,' said Stephen Leeder, a Professor of Public Health at Sydney University.”

     Wow, just imagine closing down shopping centres. I know that the article dismisses this, but in the introduction to the article it reads “the closure of schools and shopping centres.” If this does happen, will the coronavirus plague be solved by everybody starving to death? No, the elites have plenty of everything, but could experience a shortage of smoked salmon some years down the post-apocalyptic track. No, diversity, like Superman, will save us!



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Saturday, 11 July 2020
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