Objectum Sexual: Peak Weirdness By Mrs Vera West

     I had been awaiting this one, and now it is here. People wanting to marry objects such as old shoes, doggy doo and wheelie bin refuse:

“A British woman who identifies as “objectum sexual,” or attracted to inanimate objects, recently got a tattoo of her future spouse — a chandelier named “Lumiere.” Breitbart News reported last year about a British woman who was engaged to a chandelier. Now, the Mirror reports that Amanda Liberty of Leeds, England, has a tattoo of her spouse-to-be, a chandelier she calls “Lumiere.” “I couldn’t stop thinking about her and how beautiful she was — she has such a beautiful shape, and I could feel really amazing energy coming from her,” Liberty said last year. “Although I knew it would be tricky to get her home, I knew I needed to find a way to make her mine.”

     No doubt, part of this is the desperate drive people now have to get internet attention, but I suspect that the ultimate cause really is deep craziness. This is now too far gone, so the best that we can do is to hold the fort, and let natural selection work its magic. I never thought that this old lady would end up like a John Steele kind of character, but hard times make hard dames, even old ones. Wait! Stop press! I just had a thought. Oh, it is gone. Wait … it is back. What would happen if men wanted to marry their guns? I bet the system would lose interest in objectum sexual, real fast!

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