Life in the Cosmic Shooting Gallery; Ban Meteorites Now! By Brain Simpson

     Guns are of course evil and must be banned, but what about cosmic guns, meteorites which cause all sorts of harm including mass extinctions? No doubt there are space aliens, or just the randomness of nature, hurtling these rocks of death our way. Some are even hitting us, completely undetected until it is too late:

“A huge fireball exploded in the Earth's atmosphere in December, according to Nasa. The blast was the second largest of its kind in 30 years, and the biggest since the fireball over Chelyabinsk in Russia six years ago. But it went largely unnoticed until now because it blew up over the Bering Sea, off Russia's Kamchatka Peninsula. The space rock exploded with 10 times the energy released by the Hiroshima atomic bomb. Lindley Johnson, planetary defence officer at Nasa, told BBC News a fireball this big is only expected about two or three times every 100 years. At about noon local time on 18 December, the asteroid barrelled through the atmosphere at a speed of 32km/s (20 miles per second) , on a steep trajectory of seven degrees. Measuring several metres in size, the space rock exploded 25.6km above the Earth's surface, with an impact energy of 173 kilotons. "That was 40% the energy release of Chelyabinsk, but it was over the Bering Sea so it didn't have the same type of effect or show up in the news," said Kelly Fast, near-Earth objects observations programme manager at Nasa. "That's another thing we have in our defence, there's plenty of water on the planet."

     For a start, the BBC with its concern with diversity, has let grammar and spelling slip, since it is not “Nasa,” but “NASA.” How are we going to be an exciting and diverse planet, until the asteroid apocalypse, if things like this are incorrect?

     Anyway, the big rock which would have devastated a city, lucky for us grunters, exploded over the sea. But, to prevent it exploding over a city, pinkos need to have many street protests, scream at racists who are the real ones responsible for cosmic catastrophes, especially the extinction of the dinosaurs, and pass new laws restricting absolutely everything. People should not forget to blame Donald Trump. Most importantly, the system needs to stamp its tiny feet and ban space rocks, which are types of cosmic guns. Show God who is boss.

     Then when the big one finally puts this dopey world out of commission, we will not be missing much in our underground shelters, chewing on beef jerky and beans, baked beans, to reduce flatulence. In fact, it will probably be better than the air-conditioned nightmare that we presently endure.



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Thursday, 29 October 2020
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