I Married a Zombie! By Peter West
This is how far the West has tumbled down; to the laughable stage, bathos, I think it is called. Now we have a young woman marrying her zombie doll, literally:
“A young woman has revealed that her ‘world is now complete’ after getting married to her zombie doll. Felicity Kadlec, 20, said she tied the not with Kelli Rossi (the doll) who she says is 37 years old. The ceremony cost £388 for a wedding dress for Felicity, a suit for Kelly and decorations for the wedding in Tiverton, Rhode Island. The wedding was attended by four humans and eight other dolls. Felicity, who now lives in Vinita, Oklahoma, claims that marrying Kelly has made her feel closer and more intimate with it. Felicity said: ‘Our wedding ceremony was beautiful and perfect – exactly the way I dreamed it would have been. ‘I made sure that the whole wedding was done properly so it would be as official as possible, and we consummated the marriage afterwards. ‘Kelly was the groom as she takes the male role in our relationship, she is a tom boy so wore a suit – I feel she was most comfortable as the groom. ‘Despite having been in a relationship with Kelly for four years, getting married to her has made me feel so much closer to her, both emotionally and intimately.”
This story featured on St. Valentine’s Day, which shows where we are, namely that bulk crazy stories are now something to be expected. When I was a lad, it would be inconceivable that such a thing would have occurred and be given serious media coverage. Now, it is common. As my mother says in her articles, the point here is for readers to think what new frontier will be pushed, next week, next month, next year … in ten years’ time? How can this end in other than … disaster? At least we all warned folks who would listen.