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Brain Implants the Next Monster Cab of the Rank By Brian Simpson

     The next big thing, on the way to replacing the human being by thinking machines will be brain implants to create cyborg, human machine hybrids, because the technocrats simply can’t help themselves, and if it can be done, it must be done, even if the universe is destroyed … because … science …

“Brain-boosting electrodes will soon become “like plastic surgery” as all we race to get cybernetic enhancements. Humans will be turned into cyborgs — with scientists sticking AI implants deep into their brains. Brain-zapping electrodes have treated seizure patients with promising results, and bizarre and unexpected side-effects of calmness and positivity means they are now being probed as a radical treatment for depression. It’s even theorised that the electric implants can be manipulated to make users max out their brain power — similarly to how amphetamines like Adderall are abused today. Science power couple Kelly and Zach Weinersmith explored the exciting advancements in their brand new book “Soonish – Ten Emerging Technologies That’ll Improve And/Or Ruin Everything”. The pair reckon that brain-boosting electrodes will soon become “like plastic surgery” — with people spending shedloads in order to become smarter and stay ahead of the pack. One in four top academics currently abuses amphetamines, according to the Weinersmiths. “As brain-computer interface technology becomes more reliable, it may have implications in many industries,” they wrote. “An ideal brain-computer interface can make you smarter, better at remembering things, more focused, and perhaps even more creative.

“You can’t think about the possibilities without the possibilities without picturing some sort of cyborg diaspora and yet given the opportunity to suddenly have a better memory, we’d probably all take it.” Even weirder is the possibility of a human hive mind — we will be able to share each other’s thoughts like an army of ants working in unison. Lab rats had their brains linked via a brain-computer interface in one set of experiments. “The results do appear to be a sort of brain-to-brain connection,” the Weinersmiths said. “We don’t know whether these lab rats were literally sharing thoughts, but their connected brains seem to get together and work together more efficiently. “At some point in the future, it may become possible to literally combine minds with other people, either for recreational or business purposes. “To us, this sounds like a nightmare version of doing a group project, but each to her own.” Mind-reading would have considerable downsides though — like thinking “I want to divorce my wife” when you are sat on the sofa, next to your wife. The devices could also be hacked, either for murder or a dark, futuristic version of domestic abuse. “In the case of brain implants, hacking could mean a lot of things.”

     This is but part of the insane, inhuman future the techno-rats are racing to create for us, with no opposition because … science!



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Sunday, 05 July 2020
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