In the End, Primal Manhood Decides It By John Steele

     Another article to get the testosterone surging. I note with excitement, the forthcoming boxing match between super-strongmen Eddie Hall and Halfthor (The Mountain), to settle differences, real and stage-showed. But, that battle of the strongest men on the planet pales compared to the battle of the rich, where Elon Musk challenges Johhny Depp to a cage match, presumably Mixed Martial Arts.

“The ongoing libel case that continues to explore whether or not Johnny Depp is a "wife beater" - as he was referred to a newspaper - also continues to inadvertently explore whether or not Elon Musk had an affair with Johnny Depp's then wife, Amber Heard. The court case continues to yield wonderful revelations. The latest is that the amorphous Musk apparently wanted to challenge Depp to a cage fight at one point. “If Johnny wants a cage fight, just let me know,” Musk said told the New York Times this weekend, while being interviewed about his love life and the ongoing case. The (more than likely idle) threat was brought on after the NY Times read back text messages to Musk where Depp reportedly referred to Musk as "Mollusk" and threatened to cut off the Tesla CEO's genitals. To up the ante in the case, there have also been rumors circulating that Musk had a threesome with Heard and her friend Cara Delevingne in Depp's house. Musk continues to deny that it ever happened. “We did not have the threesome, you know. So I think people think these things are generally more salacious than they are,” he told the Times. Musk insists his relationship with Heard didn't start until she split from Depp. He also reportedly offered Heard security officers that would protect her after she told Musk she wanted to get a restraining order against Depp. “For [Heard and Depp], I would just recommend that they bury the hatchet and move on,” Musk said, trying to move on from the situation and focus on his current relationship. The story then went on to talk about Musk's relationship with Grimes, who it refers to as "a hybrid of a fairy, a witch and a cyborg", making her "pretty much Mr. Musk's dream girl".”

     This shows that at the end of the day, the only real solution is to slug it out, as humans have done since the caves, and I know the weak among us deny this, but it is our biohistory, for “violence is golden”:

“Violence is the final answer to the question, “Or else what?” Violence is the gold standard, the reserve that guarantees order. In actuality, it is better than a gold standard, because violence has universal value. Violence transcends the quirks of philosophy, religion, technology and culture. People say that music is a universal language, but a punch in the face hurts the same no matter what language you speak or what kind of music you prefer. If you are trapped in a room with me and I grab a pipe and gesture to strike you with it, no matter who you are, your monkey brain will immediately understand “or else what.”  And thereby, a certain order is achieved. The practical understanding of violence is as basic to human life and human order as is the idea that fire is hot. You can use it, but you must respect it. You can act against it, and you can sometimes control it, but you can’t just wish it away. Like wildfire, sometimes it is overwhelming and you won’t know it is coming until it is too late. Sometimes it is bigger than you. Ask the Cherokee, the Inca, the Romanovs, … the Confederates, the barbarians and the Romans. They all know “Or else what.” The basic acknowledgement that order demands violence is not a revelation, but to some it may seem like one. The very notion may make some people apoplectic, and some will furiously attempt to dispute it with all sorts of convoluted and hypothetical arguments, because it doesn’t sound very “nice.” But something doesn’t need to be “nice” in order for it to be true. Reality doesn’t bend over to accommodate fantasy or sentimentality. Our complex society relies on proxy violence to the extent that many average people in the private sector can wander through life without really having to understand or think deeply about violence, because we are removed from it. We can afford to perceive it as a distant, abstract problem to be solved through high-minded strategy and social programming. When violence comes knocking, we simply make a call, and the police come to “stop” the violence. Few civilians really take the time to think that what we are essentially doing is paying an armed band protection money to come and do orderly violence on our behalf. When those who would do violence to us are taken peacefully, most of us don’t really make the connection, we don’t even assert to ourselves that the reason a perpetrator allows himself to be arrested is because of the gun the officer’s hip or the implicit understanding that he will eventually be hunted down by more officers who have the authority to kill him if his is deemed a threat. That is, if he is deemed a threat to order.”

     That being so, I would be happy to fight Elon for Deppy, as his geriatric champion, in a cage, or anywhere. I am crazy enough to even go Jim Bowie style, one hand tied to his. And, Elon is my favourite capitalist; it is simply that Pirates of the Caribbean is great, and I like Jack Sparrow more than burning/exploding cars. Say, why isn’t Jack Sparrow defending himself, like he does in the movies?



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Wednesday, 12 June 2024

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