Dark Ages South Australia by James Reed

I remember the fun we had as kids when the power went out. Mum would fire up the hurricane lantern and we would cook baked beans on the woodstove. It was like indoor camping, Boy’s Own Annual, and we had a great time, a true adventure in our own house!
According to my brother in South Australia, who seems to have forgotten the good times which we had as kids, South Australia’s blackout from severe storms was “frightening.” There were trees uprooted and buildings destroyed, and extensive flood damage. As well, 80,000 lightning strikes were recorded.

There is apparently now a bit of a debate about the role that renewable energy had in the blackout and the vulnerabilities created from these sources due to rapid changes from output conditions and that renewables lack a reliable baseload generation. And there is the mystery as to why power lines north of Melrose toppled down while nearby trees did not. High voltage towers survived Queensland’s cyclones but severe winds in South Australia puts the whole place back to the dark ages. Please explain.

And finally the Greens just had to say that this was all due to climate change. Shut up, please shut up. Can’t you just let South Australians just hide their heads? Or cry into their horrible beer, vastly inferior to the divine nectar that we brew here in Victoria.
If criticising beer now constitutes “hate speech,” please forgive me beer-drinkers, no harm meant. Retreat now to your “safe space: in your favourite pub. But our beer is better. Victorian beer is superior; all other beers are inferior. Inferior. We have been blessed with  truly the one beer to rule them all. One third of all packaged beer sold in Australia is the mighty VB, and a slab a second is sold.  Trust me: being an alcoholic and having drunk entire truckloads of the different brews, I believe that I know.
So, when the next climate change induced super storm blows in, just grab a few slabs of a great beer and enjoy the end of the world, caused by the carbon emissions of slobs like me. I will be drinking for your safety, my SA brothers and sisters.



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Thursday, 18 July 2024

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