Clown World UK: Taxpayers Fund Migrant Circus Trips and Amazon Sprees, By Richard Miller (Londonistan)
Step right up, ladies and gentlemen, to the greatest show on Earth! Welcome to Clown World UK, where Britain's hard-earned taxpayer pounds are transformed into circus tickets, crazy golf outings, and Amazon shopping sprees for illegal migrants! In a spectacle that would make P.T. Barnum blush, Nigel Farage's Department of Local Government Efficiency (Dolge) has pulled back the curtain on Kent County Council's (KCC) jaw-dropping spending, revealing a three-ring circus of fiscal insanity. From £279.91 at the Santus Circus to £162,077 on 2,966 Amazon transactions, it's clear the council is running a funfair for asylum seekers while British families struggle to pay their bills. Buckle up for a satirical ride through this absurd display of misplaced priorities, from an anti-immigration perspective that demands accountability and a return to common sense.
Picture this: while British pensioners count pennies for their heating and hardworking families skip outings to make ends meet, KCC is rolling out the red carpet for unaccompanied asylum-seeking children and young adults. According to the Dolge audit, the council splurged £55.50 at Mr Mulligans Crazy Golf, £6,055 at a local swimming pool, and £279.91 for a day under the big top at Santus Circus. Why stop there? They've also dropped £12,328 on Voucherline gift cards, £70,056 at Argos, and £11,521 at Currys, all from migrant-related budgets conveniently reimbursed by central government. And let's not forget the £1,972 Virgin Atlantic airline ticket, perhaps a first-class jaunt for a "care leaver" to visit the folks back home? This isn't social care; it's a taxpayer-funded carnival for those who crossed the Channel in dinghies, while locals are left holding the bag.
The ringleaders at KCC claim this extravagance is for "integration" of the 3,036 asylum-seeker children and 1,442 care leavers they supported last year. Integration? Apparently, that means treating migrants to pizza parties (£5,793 at Domino's, £1,127 at Pizza Express) and luxury shopping sprees (£102.95 at Fortnum & Mason, because nothing says "vulnerable child" like a fancy tea hamper). Meanwhile, the Department of Education reports 7,380 unaccompanied asylum-seeking children were in council care across England last year, a 9% jump from 2020. This isn't care; it's a clown car of incentives, encouraging more illegal crossings by promising a life of leisure at the taxpayer's expense. As Alp Mehmet of Migration Watch UK put it, "Families are happy to pay for their children to come illegally because minors are accepted more readily and then looked after in the way that has been unearthed." Roll up, roll up, send your kids to Britain, and they'll get a free pass to the circus!
KCC's defence of this madness is a masterclass in bureaucratic sleight-of-hand. They insist these expenditures are for the "well-being" of asylum-seeking children, claiming activities like crazy golf and circus trips prevent them from going missing and being exploited. Really? A £162,077 Amazon shopping spree, 2,966 transactions strong, is necessary to keep kids safe? Are we buying them designer trainers and PlayStations to ensure they don't wander off? And the £10,000 spent on Netflix and Disney+ subscriptions across Reform-run councils, because nothing integrates a migrant like binge-watching Stranger Things. The council argues they have a "legal duty" to treat asylum seekers the same as other children in care, but since when does that include funding a lifestyle most British families can only dream of?
The real kicker? KCC claims this money is reimbursed by central government, as if that makes it less infuriating. Newsflash: central government funds come from the same taxpayers who are struggling with a 4.99% council tax hike and crumbling services like bin collections and pothole repairs. Zia Yusuf, head of Reform's Dolge, nailed it: "Asylum is already a heavy burden on the Treasury. The Home Office spent a record £5.38 billion on asylum seekers in 2023-24—up 36% on the previous year. So to blow even a penny of that on crazy golf or skateboarding is a betrayal of the taxpayer." Yet the council keeps juggling excuses, hoping we won't notice the £118,000 spent on fast food across Reform-run councils or the fact that Kent alone is buckling under the weight of 2,500 new migrant children annually. This isn't governance; it's a circus act of fiscal irresponsibility.
Enter Nigel Farage and his Dolge team, walking the tightrope of public outrage to expose this clown show. Inspired by Elon Musk's Department of Government Efficiency, Reform UK seized control of KCC in May 2025 and wasted no time sending in auditors to uncover the waste. Their findings? A council stretched thin by 44,000 migrant Channel crossings since Labour took power, yet somehow finding the cash to fund bowling trips, trampolining, and TV licenses (£174.50 each!) for asylum seekers. Farage's team, including entrepreneur Arron Banks, has already slashed £40 million in Net Zero nonsense, proving they're serious about cutting the fat. But the clowns in charge want us to believe this spending is "essential" for vulnerable kids, even as they dodge scrutiny with claims of legal obligations.
From an anti-immigration perspective, this is more than waste, it's a deliberate betrayal. The uncontrolled asylum system, as Migration Watch UK's Alp Mehmet noted, has hidden costs that reward illegal migration. Families send children across the Channel knowing they'll be pampered with taxpayer-funded perks, paving the way for more family members to follow. Meanwhile, British veterans sleep on the streets, and families can't afford their own kids' outings. Farage's Dolge is a beacon of hope, promising to end this madness by resisting asylum seeker housing in Reform-run councils and redirecting funds to potholes, schools, and services for Britons. But the tightrope is shaky, critics like Green group leader Rich Lehmann call it "political theatre," and KCC's entrenched bureaucrats may yet pull a disappearing act with the truth.
In Clown World UK, the taxpayer is the unwilling audience for a spectacle where illegal migrants are the star performers. Kent County Council's spending, £162,077 at Amazon, £12,328 on gift cards, £279.91 at the circus, reads like a satire script, but it's all too real. The Dolge audit has exposed a system where councils prioritise boat migrants over British citizens, funded by a Treasury already bleeding £5.38 billion a year on asylum costs. This isn't about compassion; it's about incentivising an invasion, while locals pay the price. As Farage's Reform UK fights to restore sanity, the question remains: will the clowns running the show be held accountable, or will they keep juggling British money until the big top collapses?
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