Are Teddy Bears Any Improvement on Brown Paper Bags of Lollies? By Paul Walker
Big Pharma's Newest Breakthrough: cuddly compliance!
In a groundbreaking move that truly redefines "informed consent," Moderna has been fined for its revolutionary new recruitment strategy—teddy bears. Yes, you heard that right. The pharmaceutical giant, in its infinite wisdom, decided that when it comes to convincing children to roll up their sleeves for experimental vaccine trials, nothing says "trust us" like a fluffy bribe.
While some sticklers for ethics call this "coercion," Moderna prefers to think of it as "fuzzy medical outreach." After all, why let pesky things like long-term safety studies get in the way of childhood joy when you can offer a plush distraction instead? In a statement likely drafted by an AI with a PR degree, Moderna reassured the public that the teddy bears were "completely voluntary"—just like the trial participation that conveniently followed.
Of course, critics argue that this is just another chapter in the well-worn playbook of corporate persuasion, where financial incentives and emotional manipulation take precedence over fully informed choice. But let's not be too harsh—maybe next time, instead of fines, regulators will just send Moderna executives to the naughty step with a stern lecture about ethics.
In the meantime, one can only wonder: what's next in medical marketing? Happy Meals for heart medication? A free puppy with every booster shot? Whatever it is, you can bet your health on one thing—Big Pharma will always find a way to make medicine go down, one stuffed animal at a time.
As the title says, the teddy bears may be an improvement over the classic brown paper bag of lollies scenario!
"The US-based biotech firm was found to have discredited the industry by Britain's pharmaceutical watchdog, as well as failing to maintain high standards.
The complaint related to four X adverts published by Bradford Teaching Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust in June and July 2023, which looked to recruit youngsters aged 12 and over for Moderna's updated mRNA vaccine.
The adverts, which were aimed at youngsters rather than their parents, added: "All our junior volunteers get a lovely certificate and a 'be part of the research' teddy bear."
Two separate articles published online also attempted to directly recruit children.
Critics warned that the NextCOVE trial was recruiting at a time when children were deemed at low risk from Covid and were not being prioritised for jabs.
Molly Kingsley, the founder of campaign group UsForThem, said: "For any pharmaceutical company to effectively bribe children with the offer of free teddy bears to take part in a trial of a product posing a degree of risk to the child is sinister and deeply unsavoury behaviour.
"Moreover, given that by the time of this trial it was well established that Covid posed only minimal clinical risk to healthy children it is hard to see how these trials for otherwise healthy children were ever judged ethical in the first place."
Under The Medicines for Human Use (Clinical Trials) Regulations it is prohibited for incentives or financial inducements to be given to children or their parents.
Pharmaceutical companies are also banned from directly advertising to children and complainants argued that the advert to test a "new" vaccine made it appear that the jab had already been cleared by regulators.
Esther McVey MP, a former member of the All-Party Parliamentary Group on COVID-19 vaccine damage, said: "These posts were judged to be an attempt to directly persuade children to join their COVID-19 vaccine trial.
"I think it's fair to say that this shocking behaviour sets a new low for the pharmaceutical industry. Their punishment was a fine of just £44,000 – pocket change to a company of this size.
"This latest ruling comes in a long line of cases which have found major pharmaceutical companies guilty of misleading the public about their Covid vaccine products."
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