It's January 2025, and the White House is a pressure cooker. Joe Biden's presidency is down to its final hours, and whispers about his fading mental sharpness are louder than ever. In a dimly lit office, a sleek humanoid robot, think Unitree's G1, straight out of a Shanghai factory, hums quietly, its mechanical arm guiding an autopen to sign a stack of pardons for names like Anthony Fauci, General Mark Milley, and the Jan. 6 committee crew. The catch? What if Biden didn't know a thing about it? What if his aides, operating in a technocratic shadow, used AI-powered robots to pull off a deception worthy of Emperor Xi himself? Welcome to a speculative political thriller where China's robotic revolution collides with American power games, threatening jobs, trust, and maybe democracy itself.
The story kicks off with a bombshell from The Blaze. Ed Martin, Trump's new DOJ pardon attorney and head of the Weaponization Working Group, is sniffing around "autopen pardons" issued in Biden's final days. These pardons cover big players, Fauci, shielded for his Covid moves; Milley, dogged by Trump's "treason" accusations for calling China; and Jan. 6 committee members like Liz Cheney and Adam Schiff, who've got GOP targets on their backs. Martin's not buying it. He tells reporters these pardons "need scrutiny," hinting at fraud or worse. But what if the real scandal isn't just aides forging signatures? What if they used cutting-edge tech, like China's AI-powered humanoid robots, to pull it off?
Let's set the scene. Technocracy News paints China as a technocratic juggernaut, not the communist boogeyman we're used to. Since Zbigniew Brzezinski cozied up to Deng Xiaoping in the '70s, China's been building a data-driven, AI-fuelled machine, with humanoid robots as its latest weapon. In a Shanghai warehouse, AgiBot's robots fold T-shirts and make sandwiches 17 hours a day, training to be factory champs. Imperial Emperor Xi Jinping himself checked them out, joking they could play soccer. Meanwhile, firms like Unitree are churning out $16,000 robots that dance at Lunar New Year galas and work in EV factories. China's sinking over $20 billion into this, with a trillion-yuan fund to back it, aiming to dominate manufacturing and tackle labur shortages from an aging population.
Now, imagine a rogue White House aide, let's call her Wing Chun, a tech-savvy operative with ties to global supply chains. Wing Chun's got access to a Unitree G1, smuggled in through a shady deal with a Chinese startup. Why? Because it's perfect for the job: precise, tireless, and programmable to sign Biden's name without a hitch. Biden's out of it, maybe napping, maybe unaware, as Robert Hur's 2024 report hinted at his "diminished faculties." Wing Chun and her crew know Trump's coming for their allies, so they fire up the robot, load the autopen, and churn out pardons to protect Fauci, Milley, and the rest. It's a technocratic power play, cloaked in deception, just like Sun Tzu advised: confuse the enemy so they can't see your intent.
If this happened, the fallout would be profound. First, the pardons could be toast. The Constitution says the president's pardon power is personal, Biden's got to mean it. If he was too foggy to know, and a robot did the signing without his okay, those pardons are legally shaky. Fauci could face probes over gain-of-function research, Milley over his China calls, and Jan. 6 folks over whatever "crimes" Trump's team dreams up. Courts would be swamped, and Trump's DOJ, led by Pam Bondi, would pounce.
But it's not just about the pardons. If aides used a Chinese robot, they're in deep trouble, such as fraud, conspiracy, maybe even espionage if Beijing's involved. Picture the headlines: "Biden Aides Busted Using Chinese AI to Fake Pardons!" It'd be a geopolitical earthquake. China's technocratic web, as Technocracy News warns, thrives on slipping tech into global systems. A robot in the White House? That's next-level. And it'd fuel Trump's narrative that China's out to undermine America, especially as he slaps 145% tariffs on their imports, slowing robot production on both sides.
The ripple effects hit jobs and society hard. China's robots are built to replace workers, 123 million in manufacturing alone, per a 2023 stat. If they're sneaking into U.S. politics, what's stopping them from flooding factories or homes? AgiBot's Yao Maoqing dreams of robots assembling themselves, while Unitree's G1 is already in EV plants. In the U.S., automation fears are real, 70% of manufacturing jobs could be at risk, as Chinese expert Zheng Gongcheng warned. If robots can forge pardons, they can flip burgers, care for the elderly, or run warehouses, leaving workers like Zeekr's forklift driver Geng Yuanjie, who told The New York Times, "I'm concerned I'll be replaced," in the dust. Robots "don't rest" or need overtime.
Proving this robot conspiracy would be like nailing jelly to a wall, but here's how it could go down:
Biden's Mental State: Martin's DOJ would need medical records showing Biden was out of it in January 2025, dementia-level fog, not just a senior moment. HIPAA makes this tough, but a whistleblower (say, a White House nurse) could spill. Hur's report is a start, but not proof he was zonked when the pardons hit.
Robot Tracks: Forensic techs could scan pardon documents for autopen signatures, robotic precision leaves telltale signs. The Oversight Project claims they've spotted autopen patterns, maybe tied to aide Neera Tanden. If a Unitree G1 was used, investigators could trace its import, customs records, shipping logs, or a shady payment to a Chinese firm. Emails or texts about "the robot" would be a jackpot.
Aide Confessions: Subpoena Wing Chun and her crew. If one cracks under oath, say, admitting they programmed the robot because Biden was "out" it's game over. But Biden's public comments about Hunter's pardon suggest he was aware of some, so they'd need to prove he was clueless about the rest.
China's Role: If Beijing supplied the robot, the FBI could dig into AgiBot or Unitree's U.S. dealings. China's $137 billion robotics fund and DeepSeek's AI breakthroughs make them players in global tech. A hacked email showing a White House aide coordinating with a Chinese startup would be explosive, though unlikely.
The legal fight would be brutal. Courts might buy that autopens are fine if Biden intended the pardons, a 2005 DOJ memo backs this for laws. But a robot controlled by aides? That's uncharted. Social media posts hype the scandal, but mainstream outlets like The New York Times call it a stretch, noting Biden's public statements. Without a smoking gun, it's political theater.
If this conspiracy's real, it's a technocratic masterstroke, China's AI robots slipping into the heart of U.S. power, as Technocracy News fears. Sun Tzu would approve: deceive, confuse, win. It'd tank trust in government. If robots can fake pardons, what else can they fake—votes, laws, wars? The public, already jittery about AI, would freak. A viral video of a Unitree robot smacking a worker in China already has X users joking about "conscious" machines.
Jobs take the biggest hit. China's robots target "boring or dangerous" tasks, like elderly care, where demand's spiking. But they could gut manufacturing, logistics, even politics if they're signing pardons. Liu Qingfeng's idea of AI unemployment insurance sounds nice, but good luck selling that in the U.S. Society shifts, humans lose purpose if robots do it all. Forbes warns we need new jobs, maybe arts or caregiving, to stay sane.
Martin's probe needs to move fast, subpoena records, grill aides, check signatures. A robot's serial number in a White House closet would be nice, but don't hold your breath. If they prove aides used a Chinese bot, it's a scandal for the ages: pardons voided, prosecutions launched, and China's technocratic shadow exposed. If it flops, it's Trump crying wolf, and Biden's team skates. Either way, robots are here, China's got 60+ firms cranking them out, vs. 30 in the U.S.
"Fauci, Milley, and members of the Jan. 6 committee may soon find themselves legally exposed.
Ed Martin, the incoming Department of Justice pardon attorney and director of the DOJ's Weaponization Working Group, announced Tuesday that he will review the rash of questionable "autopen" pardons issued in the final days of the Biden White House, noting that they "need some scrutiny."
"They need scrutiny because we want pardons to matter, and to be accepted, and to be something that's used correctly. So I do think we're going to take a hard look at how they went and what they did," Martin told reporters.
The Justice Department's probe could spell trouble for controversial Biden pardonees such as Anthony Fauci, retired Gen. Mark Milley, members of the Biden clan, and former members of the House Jan. 6 select committee — including Liz Cheney, Adam Kinzinger, Sen. Adam Schiff (D-Calif.), and Rep. Bennie Thompson (D-Miss.), whom President Donald Trump and other Republicans have faulted for various alleged crimes and improprieties.
For instance, Trump has suggested that Milley may have committed "treason." While previously serving as Trump's most senior uniformed adviser, Milley called his communist Chinese counterpart, communist Gen. Li Zuocheng, on two occasions — four days before the 2020 election and on Jan. 8, 2021 — to reassure Zuocheng that he would provide him with actionable warnings should Trump decide to attack. Milley received a pardon just hours before former President Joe Biden left office.
Fauci, the fifth director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, received a "full and unconditional" pass for possible federal crimes going back to Jan. 1, 2014 — around the time the Obama administration supposedly halted funding for dangerous gain-of-function research.
In February, over 16 state attorneys general launched an investigation into Fauci's role in the COVID-19 pandemic response, "demanding accountability for alleged mismanagement, misleading statements, and suppression of scientific debate." Without his autopen pardon, Fauci would be legally exposed at both the state and federal levels.
"The American people were promised accountability, and I think Ed Martin is our best shot at it," Mike Howell, president of the Oversight Project, told Blaze News. "These pardons are fake and invalid, and the president has already said that is his view."