Only 75 Days? Germany's "Speech Crime"? Czarinas Clearly Need to Up Their Game!
Ah, Germany! The land of precision engineering, punctual trains, and… apparently, a groundbreaking new frontier in the war on words. Forget about grand pronouncements from world stages; the real drama is unfolding on X, where a 73-year-old pensioner just learned that uttering a forbidden phrase can earn you a 75-day all-expenses-paid stay in a government-sponsored facility. Seventy-five days! Honestly, you have to wonder if the German Stasi-lite brigade is even trying anymore.
Let's put this in perspective, shall we? Here we have a man, enjoying his golden years, perhaps reminiscing about the good old days when you could grumble about the weather without a government-funded "trusted flagger" reporting you. He dares to repeat a phrase – "Alles für Deutschland" – in the context of discussing someone else being indicted for using the same phrase. It's like being jailed for saying "Voldemort" while talking about Harry Potter. And the consequence? A €4,500 fine, which, being a pensioner, he couldn't pay. So, naturally, the only logical step is a 75-day stint behind bars. Because clearly, we can't have pensioners running around, accidentally echoing historical slogans in their online discussions. The fabric of society would surely unravel!
One might even wonder if the venerable "REspect!" organisation, headed by a "literal Egyptian Islamic scholar" (a detail that surely adds to the surreal charm), is feeling a bit... uninspired. Nearly 25,000 cases referred? And this is the best they can do for a headline? A mere 75 days? Where's the dramatic flair? The international outcry? The global condemnation of a man who dared to repeat forbidden syllables?
Meanwhile, over in other parts of the world, politicians face accusations that could fill several lifetimes of prison sentences, yet walk free to tweet another day. Here, in the heart of Europe, the true existential threat isn't rising sea levels or economic instability, but a septuagenarian with a keyboard and a problematic phrase. Clearly, the priorities are exquisitely tuned.
It's almost as if Germany's "schoolmarm scolds," empowered by the EU Digital Services Act, a piece of legislation so wonderfully broad it could probably ban unpleasant odours, are operating on a different plane of reality. Raiding homes over a "moron" meme? Prosecuting someone for a poop emoji? These aren't just trivialities; they're vital national security matters! Clearly, the German government is protecting its citizens from the truly dangerous elements: elderly citizens with unfortunate opinions and clumsy fingers on their phone screens.
So, to the esteemed public prosecutors of Traunstein, to the dedicated "trusted flaggers" at REspect!, and to all the diligent officials ensuring that not a single "untoward" word slips through the digital cracks: bravo. But please, for the sake of international dramatic tension, next time, can we at least aim for a triple-digit sentence? A life-sentence for an imprecise quote? Something that truly sends a chill down the spine of potential digital miscreants? Because right now, "75 days" just sounds like a slightly extended holiday at a rather strict spa. One might even be tempted to break the rules, just to see what kind of all-inclusive package the German justice system offers next. Folks, it is endtimes!
"Apollo News is reporting on the substantial speech crime sentence handed to a 73 year-old pensioner from the district of Traunstein in Upper Bavaria. Twice last year, the man repeated the expression "Alles für Deutschland"1 in posts on X – apparently in the course of discussing the indictment of Alternative für Deutschland politician Björn Höcke for the use of the same phrase. The words are forbidden in Germany by Section 86a of the German Criminal Code, which bans National Socialist slogans and symbols. While "Alles für Deutschland" occurs in various contexts, the phrase is associated particularly with the Sturmabteilung, or the SA, who carved the words onto their uniform daggers.
The Traunstein Public Prosecutor brought charges against our pensioner last autumn. The District Court convicted him in November and imposed a fine of €4,500, which he was unable to pay due to financial hardship. Rather than granting the usual deferral or instalment plan, prosecutors have summoned him to serve 75 days in prison instead. He will begin his sentence on June 5th.
This is the latest in a long string of speech crime prosecutions in Germany, as our political establishment collaborates with police and prosecutors to intimidate ordinary people who say untoward things on social media. Last November, another German pensioner from Bavaria had his house raided by police for the crime of sharing a meme on X that called former Economics Minister Robert Habeck a "moron". Others have been prosecuted for such trivialities as tweeting the poop emoji at a cabinet minister, calling Greens fat and stupid, imprecisely quoting important politicians and reproducing a picture of former Health Minister Karl Lauterbach with his hand raised at an unfortunate angle. In most such cases, convicted speech criminals receive fines (however ruinous), although harsher sentences are not unheard-of.
What makes this most recent prosecution noteworthy, is the fact that the offending tweets were referred for prosecution by the so-called "trusted flaggers" at the creepy government-funded anti-hate organisation calling itself REspect! The EU Digital Services Act has helped empower the schoolmarm scolds at REspect! to police the German internet for "disallowed speech", and with our Bavarian pensioner they claim yet another scalp. This industrial operation in crying to teacher is headed by a literal Egyptian Islamic scholar named Ahmed Haykel Gaafar, and on their website they claim to have referred nearly 25,000 cases of criminal speech for prosecution over the years.
I distance myself from this and all deplorable National Socialist slogans and symbols.