By John Wayne on Tuesday, 15 July 2025
Category: Race, Culture, Nation

Afghanistan’s Bold New Tourism Pitch: Come for the Mock Executions, Stay for the Real Ones! By Richard Miller (Londonistan)

 In a world where tourism campaigns lean heavily on sun-soaked beaches, quaint cobblestone streets, or overpriced coffee shops with unpronounceable menus, Afghanistan has decided to zig where others zag. Their latest marketing gambit, courtesy of the enigmatic social media account @afghanarabc, is less "Wish You Were Here" and more "Wish You Weren't Terrified." In a slickly produced video that's equal parts satire and fever dream, Afghanistan invites American tourists to experience the country's rugged charm, complete with a mock hostage execution to set the mood!

Picture this: five heavily armed men loom over three kneeling figures, their heads shrouded in black bags, evoking every jihadi propaganda video you've ever had the misfortune of glimpsing. The leader steps forward, growling, "We have one message for America." The tension is palpable, the stakes are high, and then, bam!—the bag comes off, revealing a grinning American tourist throwing a thumbs-up like he's just won a free Slurpee at 7-Eleven. "Welcome to Afghanistan!" he chirps in a drawl so enthusiastic it could sell timeshares in a warzone. Move over, Disneyland; Kabul's got a new kind of magic.

The video, which seems to have been crafted by someone who watched Mad Men and Zero Dark Thirty back-to-back, pivots from this grim opening to a montage of American tourists living their best lives. They're swinging from the barrels of derelict tanks like it's a CrossFit gym for adrenaline junkies. They're diving into pristine lakes, because nothing says "safe vacation" like a refreshing dip in a country where the travel advisory reads like a horror novel. They're gorging on banquet-sized platters of food, surrounded by curious children who probably haven't seen a tourist since the last Indiana Jones movie. And in a particularly bold flex, one American is shown clutching an M4A1 carbine, the same rifle U.S. soldiers once carried through these very hills, grinning like he's just discovered the ultimate tourist experience.

The absence of women in the video is, of course, conspicuous. One might assume it's because the marketing team didn't want to complicate their "extreme adventure" vibe with pesky questions about gender equality. After all, who needs inclusivity when you've got tanks to swing from? The campaign seems to scream, "Come for the mock executions, stay for the machismo!"

Strategically, this is a masterstroke of dark humour. Afghanistan's global brand has been, shall we say, less than inviting in recent decades. Jihad, conflict, and a general sense of "maybe don't book that flight" have dominated its reputation. So why not lean into it? Why not take the imagery that's scared off tourists for years and flip it into a bizarre, tongue-in-cheek invitation? It's the equivalent of Chernobyl offering a "Glow-in-the-Dark Getaway" or Transylvania marketing a "Vampire-Free Guarantee." It's audacious, it's memorable, and it's just unhinged enough to go viral.

But here's the million-dollar question: what's the pitch for safety? The video's all grins and thumbs-ups, but it's hard to shake the nagging thought that the line between "mock execution" and "whoops, that wasn't staged" might be thinner than a Kabul street vendor's patience. How do you assure tourists they won't end up as the next headline? A glossy brochure with "Don't Worry, We're Kidding!" in Comic Sans isn't going to cut it. Perhaps a money-back guarantee if you're kidnapped? A complimentary flak jacket with every booking? The video is silent on these details, leaving us to wonder if the tourism board's next ad will feature a "Survive Your Vacation" checklist.

The mystery of who's behind this campaign only adds to its allure. Is @afghanarabc an official arm of the Afghan government, a rogue influencer with a drone and a dream, or just a group of friends who found a surplus of black body bags and a camera? The lack of clarity is almost as bold as the campaign itself. In an era where authenticity is everything, this shadowy origin story feels like a deliberate choice.

In the end, Afghanistan's tourism pitch is a wild gamble, a middle finger to conventional marketing that dares you to laugh while checking your travel insurance. It's a reminder that in a world of sanitised, cookie-cutter vacation ads, there's something darkly refreshing about a country that says, "Yeah, we're chaotic, wanna swing on a tank?" Whether it'll actually lure American tourists remains to be seen. But one thing's for sure: this is one campaign that won't be forgotten anytime soon. Just don't forget to pack your sense of humour, and maybe a bulletproof vest! The AK 47? Get that there. In fact, there are old craftsman who make by hand all sorts of guns of reasonable quality too, "Khyber Pass copies." At least they don't blow up in your face … most of the time.

https://jihadwatch.org/2025/07/afghans-try-to-attack-us-tourists-with-video-mocking-jihadi-executions

"As odd a campaign as this is, whoever is behind it is thinking strategically. After all, what else is Afghanistan known for besides jihad? But what assurance can Afghans give to tourists that they won't be the next victims of that jihad?

"Afghans invite US tourists to visit with bizarre video featuring a mock hostage EXECUTION and poking fun at their country's reputation for terrorism," by David Averre, Daily Mail, July 10, 2025

An Afghan social media account has revealed a tourism pitch unlike any other in a bid to court Western travellers, reshape the nation's global image and revive its shattered economy.

The slick marketing video, shared across social media by Afghanistan in Arabic (@afghanarabc), opened with what at first glance resembled a scene from a horrific Islamist terror-style execution video.

Five heavily armed men are seen standing over three prisoners whose heads are covered by black bags.

'We have one message for America', the leader declares menacingly.

He promptly tears the bag off the head of the hostage kneeling below him – only to reveal a man flashing a cheesy grin and a thumbs-up before exclaiming in an enthusiastic American drawl: 'Welcome to Afghanistan!'

The video proceeds to show a group of American holidaymakers arm in arm with Afghan guides, indulging in various activities in stunning locations.

They are seen swinging from the barrels of ruined tanks, diving into lakes, gorging on banquet-sized food platters and posing for pictures with a horde of curious children.

One part of the clip showed an American gleefully clutching a US Army-issue M4A1 carbine – the principal weapon of many American soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Unsurprisingly, no women were visible anywhere in the video.

It is unclear whether the account that posted the video has any connection to official Afghani institutions…."

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