Australia – land of the fair go, the endless beaches, and apparently, the never-ending fire sale of national assets. Just when you thought we'd learned our lesson from flogging off the Port of Darwin like it was a rusty ute at a country auction, the Albanese government drops this bombshell: a $3 billion bonanza of Defence properties up for grabs. Sixty-four sites (or 67, or 68 – who's counting when the spreadsheets are this fuzzy?), scattered across every state and territory, from historic barracks to forgotten rifle ranges. It's the biggest military real estate purge in our history, all in the name of "modernising" Defence and patching up those pesky budget holes. But let's peel back the khaki curtain and see if this isn't just another chapter in our national saga of short-sighted sellouts.
First, a quick recap for those not glued to realcommercial.com.au. The government's dusting off gems like Victoria Barracks in Sydney's Paddington (a 15-hectare slice of history dating back to 1847, right next to Oxford Street – prime spot for a hipster cafe or luxury apartments), Randwick Barracks in Kingsford, and even Spectacle Island in Sydney Harbour. Over in Melbourne, Victoria Barracks and Fort Queenscliff are on the block; Brisbane gets to wave goodbye to its own Victoria Barracks and Kokoda Barracks; Perth loses Irwin and Leeuwin Barracks; and Tassie? Well, they've got 15 sites, including naval reserves and training depots that sound like they haven't seen action since the Rum Rebellion. South Australia chips in with Edinburgh Parks, Hampstead, and Woodside Barracks, plus that partial Warradale divestment – because why sell the whole thing when you can tease the market? The Northern Territory offers up Defence Establishment Berrimah and Stokes Hill, while the ACT tosses in the Fairbairn Golf Course (priorities, eh?). All told, it's a mix of vacant, decaying depots, islands, golf courses, and munitions sites that could apparently house thousands if rezoned – or so the spin goes.
Why now? According to Defence Minister Richard Marles, these sites are "vacant, decaying, and underutilised," sucking up millions in maintenance while offering zero strategic value in our post-2023 Defence Strategic Review world. The audit by Jan Mason and Jim Miller – handed over in late 2023 but only acted on now – paints a picture of an estate bloated by "decades of deferred decisions," with up to $1.2 billion in remediation costs if we keep them. Sell 'em off, save $100 million a year, reinvest in northern bases to counter those "imminent threats" from you-know-where (cough, China, cough). Sounds pragmatic, right? But critics aren't buying the brochure. Opposition figures like Andrew Hastie slam it as "shortsighted and foolish," accusing Labor of gutting the "heart and soul" of the ADF – places central to our military identity, like Irwin Barracks in Perth or those Victoria Barracks triplets. Sky News pundits smell budget desperation, with Andrew Bragg claiming it's all to plug a "massive hole" amid regional aggression. Veterans and residents are gearing up for NIMBY battles, fearing luxury developments over public access or heritage preservation. And let's not forget the Guardian's warning of backlash over ditching sites "central to the country's defence history."
This all feels eerily familiar, doesn't it? Cast your mind back to 2015, when the Northern Territory government – in a move that still boggles the brain – leased the Port of Darwin to Landbridge Group, a Chinese firm with deep ties to the People's Liberation Army and the CCP, for 99 years at a bargain $506 million. National security experts at ASPI screamed blue murder about the risks: a strategic port near a US Marines base, handed over to a company whose ownerwas a CCP member and military-linked businessman. The US flipped out, with Obama reportedly chewing out Turnbull over it. Critics like Andrew Robb (ironically, a former trade minister who later joined Landbridge's payroll) defended it as "just business," but the whole affair reeked of naivety – or worse, influence peddling. Fast-forward to 2021, and the feds finally clawed back some oversight, but the damage was done: a key asset in foreign hands, amid rising tensions in the Indo-Pacific. Australia is too weak to deal with this, so when the time comes, the US will sort it out quickly I would suppose.
So, in the spirit of that glorious flogging – where we sold a vital chokepoint to a geopolitical rival because, hey, money talks – why stop at rusty barracks and golf courses? If we're in the mood for a national garage sale, let's go big. I propose we auction off Parliament House in Canberra straight to the CCP. Think about it: they already "own" most of the pollies, if you believe the whispers from scandals past. And don't get me started on the ASIO warnings about foreign interference, with China topping the list – spies in universities, donations to parties, even that 2022 plot to influence a Labor candidate.If the CCP's influence is as pervasive as reports suggest (and ASIO's annual threat assessments keep hammering), why bother with the middlemen? Just hand over the keys to the Big House on the Hill. Rename it "People's Parliament Plaza," install some surveillance cams (they're experts), and let Xi Jinping's proxies run the show directly. Bonus: the proceeds could fund AUKUS subs – or at least pay off those budget black holes the Opposition loves to rant about. No need for a defence force then anyway.
Of course, this is satire (mostly). But satire only bites when it's rooted in truth. The Port Darwin debacle showed how economic desperation can blind us to strategic risks, and this Defence selloff – while perhaps necessary on paper – risks the same myopia. Historic sites aren't just real estate; they're symbols of sovereignty. Selling them off piecemeal, especially in a world where China's buying up ports, farms, and influence worldwide, feels like chipping away at our independence. Sure, reinvest in northern defences, build homes on contaminated munitions dumps (good luck with that remediation bill), but let's not pretend this isn't another step in the great Aussie tradition of privatising the public good. If we're not careful, the next "surplus" asset might be the Opera House – or worse, the Vegemite factory. Wait, that's long gone, isn't it?
https://www.realcommercial.com.au/news/govt-land-selloff-3-billion-in-prime-properties-up-for-grabs
"The largest military property sell-off in Australian history is underway, after the Albanese government agreed to put 64 'vacant, decaying' Defence sites – estimated to be worth as much as $3 billion – on the market.
Some of Australia's most valuable and historically significant military landholdings are now up for grabs, including Victoria Barracks in Sydney's exclusive Paddington and its Melbourne counterpart, along with dozens of inner-city training depots and barracks across the country.
Deputy Prime Minister Richard Marles confirmed Wednesday that the Government accepted all 20 recommendations from the Defence Estate Audit, paving the way for the wholesale disposal of what the audit found were "vacant, decaying, underutilised" properties costing millions of dollars to maintain.
Mr Marles said the reforms were necessary despite being "significant and challenging" because many Defence sites had been vacant and decaying for years.
"We are clear-eyed and committed to seeing it through, because it is the right thing to do in the national interest," he said.
The Department of Finance is now seeking expressions of interest from developers and investors for the portfolio, which spans all states and territories and includes 46 owned properties and 12 leased sites.
Three properties have already been sold since the audit was commissioned in 2023: Magnetic Island in Queensland, Haberfield Training Depot in NSW, and Garbutt in Queensland.
Property developers are expected to circle the portfolio with keen interest, particularly for inner-city sites in established suburbs with strong infrastructure connections that could be transformed into residential, commercial or mixed-use developments."