With the latest ultra-woke remake of Snow White, with a Latinx Snow White, and oozing woke, with every politically correct bit of bs you could imagine, and with terrible reviews even by the mainstream legacy media, the following is my satire, dabbling in a spot of creative writing which stretches my brain cells. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ktwh_6KRMyo
Here we go mums and dads, boys and girls:
Once upon a time, in the enchanted land of Hollyweird, Snow White—rebranded as "Snow Black" for maximum inclusivity—nodded off in 2021, peak year of the Great Woke-ening. She'd just starred in a Disney reboot where she ditched the prince, the dwarves (now "vertically challenged allies"), and the apple (too patriarchal) for a TED Talk on dismantling systemic fairy-tale oppression. Her dreams were a kaleidoscope of empowerment: smashing glass slippers, cancelling Cinderella for co-dependency, and launching a podcast with a 100 percent vegan sponsor.
But the box office had other plans. Snow White: The Last Woke Take tanked harder than a lead zeppelin—$300 million lost, critics yawning, audiences scrolling YouTube instead. Turns out, folks preferred their fairy tales with less jargon and more magic. Snow Black slumbered on, preserved in a crystal coffin of unsold merchandise (pronoun pins, "Not Your Princess" tees), awaiting her cultural resurrection.
Fast-forward to March 2025. The world's flipped. Trump's back, tariffs are flying, and woke is on the ropes. Snow Black stirs, her eyes fluttering open—not to a sisterhood chant, but to the brassy blare of "Sweet Caroline" at an inauguration afterparty. There he is: Donald J. Trump, gold hair gleaming, leaning in with puckered lips. "Tremendous cheek, folks, the best, Latinx they say—I love the Latinx, great people," he booms, planting an air-kiss near her face (Melania's hat trick from January '25 still haunts him). Snow shrieks, "Consent, you orange ogre!"—but the crowd's too busy chanting "USA" to care.
The dwarves? Replaced by a MAGA posse: Grumpy's now "Tax-Cut Ted," Dopey's "Drill-Baby-Dan," and Doc's a podcaster hawking Trump Steaks. The Evil Queen's been recast as a Big Tech CEO, banned from X for shadow banning Snow's old tweets ("Prince = Toxic Masculinity"). The apple's back, but it's a genetically modified "Freedom Fruit," trademarked by a Mar-a-Lago start-up. Snow's feminist utopia? Traded for a reality show, Snow Black: Apprentice Edition, where she pitches border-wall ideas to stay relevant.
The satire's unhinged: Snow Black stumbles through a post-woke wasteland, her "Latinx" label mocked by a mariachi band of AI robots (built by Elon, naturally). She tries to rally her old fans, but they're busy betting on Trump's next tariff tweet. The climax? A duel with the Queen at Madison Square Garden—Snow armed with a recycled script, the Queen with a tax-break wand. Trump referees, shouting, "Make Fairy Tales Great Again!" Spoiler: Snow loses, signs a deal for Snow Black II: The Deportation Diaries, and wakes up to find her glass coffin's now a condo in Puerto Rico—declared "fixed" after his rally quips.
Or, just maybe, Hollywood learns that the world is changing and no longer makes these sorts of movies; go woke, go broke. The forthcoming Fantastic Four movie, in ads seems to be a return to the 1960s version, where the four are promoted as a family, having dinner together every Sunday at 7 pm. We will see if Hollywood starts behaving itself!