The bad; talk about the police state; two million New Zealanders have a police alert next to their name, even for having a gun licence. Think about what the Aussie cops have!

     The bad; this is terrible racism: slim people think that fat people are somewhat sub-human, a shocking prejudice.

     The puzzling; a US women’s body had its organs in all the wrong places, or maybe there was no right place to have an organ in the beginning:

     The ugly; a woman was found to have four wasps living in her eyes, drinking her tears. Could this be metaphor for the fate of mankind?

     The good; a poacher gets killed by a noble elephant, and then his body eaten by lions. Talk about the revenge of Mother Nature:

     The ugly; coming soon to your local supermarket, the magic consent condom that requires four hands to open. Then there will be the condom requiring an entire football team to open, but that could be a problem in itself, given what we know about footballers. It must be because they get to handle such a large leather inflatable object.

     The crazy; only in the universities; aliens are already here and breeding with us to save us from climate change. No, he does not mean illegal migrants, but extra-terrestrial ones. When does the bs end? When the universities end.

     The good; have you ever wondered why Greek statues of heroes all have small penises? No, I don’t care either. Move on.

     We end with this classic music from The Good, the Bad and the Ugly:

     Beautiful, eh? I am glad that I could work that one in.

Authorised by K. W. Grundy
13 Carsten Court, Happy Valley, SA.