Now They Take Even the Toilet Away from Us! By Bruce Bennett
Is nothing “sacred” anymore?
“The new design is intended to make it unbearable for workers after five minutes, shortening employee’s toilet breaks in the process. The “Standard Toilet” made by a start-up in the UK of the same name is sloped so it sits at a 13-degree downward angle. According to developer Mahabir Gill from StandardToilet, this will increase strain on the legs similar to a gentle squat thrust. While 13 degrees is optimal, StandardToilet holds the patent for anything from five to 35 degrees. At a maximum, the company estimates that a 35-degree downward slant would reduce time in the toilet by 30 per cent. This is a clear benefit to customers, said Mr Gill, as industry research from the company suggested that the average person spent 25 per cent more time in work toilets than necessary. The cost to business of this was estimated to be roughly $A31 billion (£16 billion) per annum, according to their website. Meanwhile, by cutting time spent on the toilet by 25 per cent with a 13-degree angle, Standard Toilet estimates it can save businesses $A9.20 billion (£4.8 billion) a year. The news of the toilet has been met with criticism online, with people questioning how this toilet would be legal for people with accessibility issues.”
Surely the best thing for the capitalists to do, to optimise time, is to have the spiked toilet, like an Indian bed of nails, so that people will get their business done in record time, or be impaled and thus get back to the Satanic mills, or the present equivalent.
See, even Trump is worried about toilets; the world may be blown up, illegal migrants may be flooding into the US in record numbers, but the toilet flushing crisis is immediate.